Don't Send in the Clowns

I still have a few wedding things I'd like to share, but something happened this weekend that I want to post about while it is fresh in my mind.

If you know me on Facebook you may already have gotten the very short version of this story, feel free to skip ahead.

Harper had been invited to a birthday party for this past Sunday afternoon. We were sort of surprised to see the invitation because it was for a friend from preschool, someone we hadn't seen in over a year. I made the awkward phone call to RSVP which, for me, always entails asking about the food that would be served. As it turns out the birthday girl also has nut allergies - my initial reaction was that it would be the easiest birthday party ever, no need to worry about food. But then the mother went on to tell me where the cake was coming from - a local place that is not a nut free bakery. In fact, it was the same place that made the cupcakes for my brother's wedding. And we were told, very definitely, that the children should not eat those... Even the pretzels they served were a brand we NEVER buy because all the products have cross-contamination warnings on them. Everyone handles food allergies differently - and that alone is a topic that I could go on and on about. Fortunately this is NOT a post about Harper having a reaction to food at a party!

The birthday party was at a local park and the big entertainment was a clown/magician. Shortly after the party began, as most of the adults sat together under the picnic shelter, the children gathered in the grass to watch the magic show. A few minutes into the show, Harper was suddenly at my side, absolutely hysterical. She was sobbing and clinging to me and for what felt like a long time I could not, for the life of me, figure out what had happened. I worried that she'd been stung by a bee but I had no idea what she was saying.  She was causing such a ruckus that I ended up walking her away from the picnic shelter to try to help her calm down.

I finally figured out she wasn't hurt, but she was emphatic about not going back over to the magic show. After lots of calming I heard Harper say something about the clown/magician having peanut butter. I thought maybe the clown was using peanut butter as a magic word. Then Harper insisted the clown had a peanut butter sandwich - what place a peanut butter sandwich had in a magic act,  I couldn't imagine. Surely it wasn't a real peanut butter sandwich? Just then the father of the birthday girl approached us to see if we needed anything - he clarified for me that the clown did, in fact, have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Apparently the birthday girl, who is allergic to nuts, was asked to hold it at some point (And she did, and was fine, but yikes!).

After a little more conversation I realized that the clown had told the children that if they did or said a certain thing, she was going to open the sandwich and spray them with peanut butter!

Spray them with peanut butter.


Now, I am sure the clown never intended to actually spray peanut butter at the children, but I certainly understand why Harper reacted the way she did. Incidentally, aside from Harper and the birthday girl, there was another child at the party with nut allergies. While I realize the world is always going to have nuts in it, I'm thinking the clown may want to drop that bit from the magic act.

Once Harper calmed down and I promised to sit with her for the rest of the magic show (one of the other parents assured us the peanut butter portion was over). I was really, really proud of Harper for deciding to stay and have fun with her friends. If she had asked to leave (I mean after her initial panicked reaction) I probably would have taken her home.

As I sat with her in the grass, watching card tricks and appearing bunnies, I had to work pretty hard to hold back my own tears. I couldn't stop thinking about how terrified she must have been, thinking she could be sprayed with peanut butter at any moment, worrying she was about to have a reaction.

The rest of the afternoon passed without further incident - all's well that ends well I guess. And Harper did come home with some pretty awesome mermaid face paint:

Double Knotted

Harper learned to tie her shoes today!

I have been meaning to teach her, really teach her, forever. I have certainly tried to show her more than once, but it kept coming up while we trying to get out the door, so you can imagine how well that went.

I'd temporarily forgotten an important element of teaching kids to tie shoes - you need to be on the same side of the shoe as they are. Long laces help too. I was in an education store the other day and picked up a set of shoe-tying lacing cards (like these). That was all it took - Harper learned in about three minutes and then switched to practicing on her actual tennis shoes.

Shoe tying is a little accomplishment that feels like a game-changer. Harper can now officially tie her shoes, count by 2's to 100, get herself a reasonable breakfast, and set the DVR.  This evening she retrieved a load of laundry from the dryer while I was getting Michael ready for bed. I will teach her to fold a fitted sheet and I anticipate she'll be in her own apartment before the end of the year.

*****

One other quick Harper story-

Yesterday Harper made me a lift-the-flap book. She used the school directory to find the first names of some of her friends' mothers. Then she glued a bunch of flaps into a book and put a question mark on the outside of the flaps. Under each flap was a drawing of a woman, labeled with the name of one of my friends. How sweet  is that?

Incidentally, do you think children are equipped with some kind of meter which signals them to do something sweet/kind/lovely just when we're ready to throttle them? I'm beginning to have my suspicions.

Bummer

The first time we sat down to eat ice cream together as a family I cried.

It was the first time were able to go out for ice cream together. Because of Harper's peanut allergy most ice cream places are completely off limits. Then, a few years ago, a seasonal place opened not far from our house. It sold ices, frozen custard, and was nut-free! I will never forget the first time we sat at one of those tables with Harper and enjoyed our treats.

For several weeks we've had the opening day (this past weekend) marked on our calendar and have been gearing up for the first visit. Of course that was before we found out we could no longer go there. Yesterday we found out they've added all kinds of peanut containing products to their stores and it really isn't safe for us even to walk in any longer. Boo.

Now I'm not going to jump up and tell people to send angry letters or boycott the store (you'll notice I haven't even mentioned their name), but we are so, so disappointed.

There are very few places where we can enjoy a meal or snack out with Harper and it is really too bad when we have to cross another one of off our list. Being able to take your kids out for ice cream in the summer is such a simple pleasure and one we really enjoyed, at least for a couple of years.

I will admit that I shed a few tears yesterday when I found out about the menu changes. I know it is silly to cry over something as inconsequential as not being able to go back to an ice cream place, but I think my tears were more about the barriers Harper's allergy represents for her, for us as a family. There are so many normal things that we have to think twice about doing. And I worry often about the ways Harper might be limited as she grows. I know that having this allergy doesn't mean that she won't have a full and happy life, but it is difficult not to feel discouraged now and again.

The First Halloween

A photo journey:

This was the first stage of Harper's costume. It involved me cutting out unreasonable amounts of furry fabric in our dining room. When I was finished, it looked like I'd gotten into a fight with a band of wild poodles, and sheared them. I'm still finding loose fur in the house.

Hooray! My first big sewing project is Harper's finished Halloween costume. The pumpkin prop was graciously provided by Nana and Dziatku. They also agreed to let us use their yard for the photo shoot. We had to trick-or-treat there on Sunday, as Nana was going to be out of town for our actual trick-or-treat night. Good thing too, between the cold and the not sleeping, Harper didn't enjoy trick-or-treat at all. A better mother wouldn't even have tried to take her out.

Harper and Mommy smile for the camera.

Harper and Daddy, looking excited about Halloween. Please notice the cute tail on Harper's costume.

Photo in which Harper asks, "Seriously people, could I be any cuter?"

Finally, we have Harper on Halloween Day. The pumpkin outfit is courtesy of our friend Kay. Thanks Kay!

This picture marks the only five minute window in which Harper was happy and calm yesterday. Our trick-or-treat experience consisted mostly of her crying on our friends' doorsteps, and in the car. She was only happy at Auntie M's house, where she laughed at Auntie M's big black dog, Atticus.

Good thing we get to do this about a dozen more times! Despite a relatively cute finished project, I don't see any other furry costumes in Harper's future.

Indiana's Not Looking So Bad

There ought to be an exemption from Daylight Savings Time for people with small children. All it's saving me right now is a chance to get a good night's sleep! I know it's only been two days since we changed the clocks and I need to be patient, but sheesh! Harper woke up at 5:00 Sunday morning (not too bad, since we go to early church), 4:30 Monday morning, and 4:00 this morning. And when I say woke up, I mean wide-eyed, get me out of this crib, I'm ready to party, awake. This morning I decided that her hour of waking was just too ridiculous and I nursed her and put her back to bed, where she stayed for about an hour and a half. What kind of schedule can we keep if she wakes up before 5:00? I don't want to suddenly start nursing her at 4:00 every morning, especially since we're thinking we'll be finished with that within the next month. Ugh.

In other news, Harper has a terrible cold, which I'm sure is another contributing factor to everyone's lack of sleep. Poor baby, she is one fountain of snot. And also coughing. And bleary eyed misery. Baby colds are the pits. At least if you are a grown-up, you can take some knock-you-out cold medicine and sleep for a few days!

Despite the not sleeping and miserable cold, Harper still managed to enjoy some noodles for dinner the other night. Rebound also enjoyed the multitude of noodles that landed on the kitchen floor, this is how our dog is going to become fat.

On Our Toes

This picture explains why I don't spend more time answering e-mail. I had to let it happen, she was so happy playing in that paper. She wasn't eating it, so I figured this was a relatively safe activity. And then I spotted a dirty tissue among all that harmless paper -- YUCK! That was the end of that game, and the end of a few quiet minutes for me.

I just can't believe how busy Harper is. And these days, while we're sleeping at Nana and Dziatku's, there is no pack-n-play at our house. Which means I have to watch her every second that we're here. Yesterday she was standing up, playing with a coaster on an end table. While I was watching, she got frustrated that she couldn't reach a framed photograph farther back on the table. Somehow she wriggled herself around the corner, between the couch and the end table. I present to you, Baby Houdini. Unfortunately she works backwards, getting herself stuck on her own, and needed help to be freed. She didn't seem to realize she had a problem until I tried to free her from between the couch and the table, then her eyes got a big as dinner plates and she geared up for some major screaming. Lucky for me, it was a swift rescue mission.

I apparently jinxed myself by saying that nap time had gotten easier. Today it took Harper nearly an hour to finally fall asleep. Frustrated does not even begin to explain how I was feeling. And then, the last time I went to lay her down, I placed her on her back and covered her up, and, when I put her little giraffe next to her, she wrapped her arm around it and hugged it to her cheek. So sweet! I've never seen her do anything like that before. To me, it looked like such a "big-kid" gesture, and that just melted my heart. It's a mental image I will file away to reference the next time she is spitting pureed green beans at me and throwing Cheerios at the dog.

Accomplishments

Harper has achieved new heights of greatness over the weekend. Friday morning Matt was watching her so I could grab a quick shower before he went to work. And the baby, she actually crawled for this first time! She has been on the move for quite a while now, but had never done a real, up on all fours, crawl. Up to this point she's been inching forward on her belly, rolling, rotating, pushing off and pulling to get where she wants to be. While she'd become quite successful in getting from A to B employing these methods, it's still pretty exciting to see her actually crawl. And Matt is thrilled he got to see it first. For a long time we'd pretty much figured she was going to skip the crawling part.

Of course now that she can crawl, she's devised an even faster and more ridiculous way of getting around. I'm not sure I can even explain it. She's basically sitting with one foot underneath her and one one the floor, knee in the air. She leans forward and puts her hands down in front of her and sort of scoots along on her bottom. I sense we're raising a rebel here, as she pretty much finds the way something's not meant to be done, and does that!

In other news, Harper's seventh and eighth teeth finally cut all the way through. She's cut about six teeth in the last month, almost simultaneously. Maybe we'll have a little break from the teething now, and she'll stop waking up in the middle of the night.

The novelty of standing in her crib also seems to be wearing off a little (knock on wood). The past two days it hasn't been quite so hard to get her to nap. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it was just a little phase we went through. So I should still expect her to take two naps a day until she heads to kindergarten? Right? (Ha!)

One other note to wrap up this post. We are so lucky to have Matt's parents nearby. They are wonderful to and with Harper and a great help to us. I am sorry not to live closer to my side of the family (hello up there in Wisconsin), but I'm glad we do have family so close. Last week Harper's dziatku (Polish for grandpa, as far as I know) was here three times, once while I substitute taught, and twice just to help out while I was getting ready for book club. Then, yesterday, Harper's nana was here for several hours in the afternoon. Our husbands were together at the Detroit Lions game in Cleveland. She fed and played with Harper, kept me company, and allowed me to get FOUR full loads of laundry done (including folding). A huge accomplishment for one afternoon. So, even thought the Packers lost, it was a pretty good day.

Getting Started (Again)

It doesn't bode well for me that I already typed my first post, and then lost it, while attempting to move a picture I'd inserted. I used to think myself fairly computer savvy, that was, until I became a stay-at-home-mom and my IQ started dropping daily. We'll see how this goes. In the future I plan to post mostly about my wonderful daughter, Harper. For now, I'll just post her adorable picture.

Someday I'll figure out how to put the picture below the text, which is where I meant for it to be. For now you can just use your imagination.

We Make Noise While Harper Sleeps

We make noise while Harper sleeps. Or at least we used to. Harper is our beautiful daughter, she is now 11 months old. In days gone by, Harper was a great sleeper, super sleeper, Sleep Queen of the Universe. . . then she learned to stand up in her crib. Now a good part of my day is spent trying to get the child to lay down long enough to fall asleep.

We get up early and go to church with my in-laws most Sunday mornings. Then we all go out for a big breakfast. Then we all come home and Harper, tired and full, takes a nap. Okay, sometimes we all take a nap. About three weeks ago we were going along our merry Sunday routine and life as we know it changed. When Matt went to get Harper up from her morning nap he called me to come look. Lo and behold, the child, she stood up in her crib! We gushed, we clapped, we were so excited, we were so stupid.


Harper apparently loves this new trick. Nearly every time we have put her in her crib to nap, she now stands up, throws her pacifier on the floor, and starts talking, which becomes whining, which becomes full-fledged screaming. So we go back in, Supernanny style, lay her back down and leave. This can go on for up to an hour. Sometimes she wins then and I get her up because we just need to get on with the day. Other times she finally falls asleep, and then you better not breathe too loudly in my house, because if you wake that baby Sister, you can entertain her until bedtime!

Something I don't understand about Harper: we don't have this problem at night. And you can't tell me she's not tired at nap time. If you could see the child pre-nap, you would understand that she needs one.