Thursday, February 09, 2006

Now I Know What Guilt Really Feels Like

Harper spent today at the home of a wonderful babysitter named Vicki. I met Vicki through some parents of children I used to teach. She has been a blessing in our lives, living just down the street from us and watching Harper lovingly while I tutored this summer. Since school has been back in session, she occasionally babysits when I sub, if Matt's parents aren't available. I was subbing today and when I got home there was a message from Vicki, saying she'd tried reaching me at school and on my cell phone and that Harper had a fever. I had left school by the time she tried to call and must not have heard my cell phone in my purse when I was on my way home. To top it all off, I stopped to run an errand, prolonging the window of time in which she couldn't reach me. I called her as soon as I got the message, to let her know I was on my way, and then flew down there.

When Vicki opened her door and I saw Harper with those glassy fever-eyes, I just started to cry. I'm not sure I've ever seen anything that heartbreaking in all my life. She was hot all over and just crying these tiny little cries. Vicki helped me take her temperature the way I knew the doctor's office would ask for it, i.e. holding her down while I stuck the thermometer you know where, and she had a temp of 103.1. This is the first time Harper's had a fever unrelated to vaccinations, and those were really low, hardly worth remembering. She seemed to be in a little better spirits by the time I got her home and got her some Tylenol, hopefully it will do the trick.

I can't believe this happened when she wasn't with me. I may never leave home again.

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