Hanging In...

Fortunately Michael is fine - I'm sorry it took me all day to post that update.

He just has a nasty virus that's going around, but his lungs and ears were clear and it isn't strep.

The trip to urgent care was worth it, just to know there wasn't something wrong that we were ignoring. No antibiotics necessary, but they did give him Motrin and I swear that stuff is magic. Harper was never very sick when she was as young as Michael and we never had Motrin for her until she was much older - it never occurred to me to look for infant Motrin. But Motrin helped us sleep and nap and sleep some more!

Everything looks better after a little sleep.


Of course Matt and I are now feeling the cold come our way, but I guess we won't wake the children up throughout the night as retribution. That would be pretty cruel.

Another One Bites the Dust

Now Michael is sick, as is the way of these things.

Harper, who is feeling significantly better, was the only one who slept more than forty minutes at a stretch last night. Our poor boy is miserable. Matt finally left with him for children's urgent care this evening.

I felt a little silly sending them off, especially when the main "symptom" he has is prolonged, inconsolable screaming. Unfortunately Michael has a knack for getting sick on holidays or on vacation. I think we would have suffered through another night if taking him to the pediatrician in the morning was a possibility, which, of course, it's not.

It never ceases to amaze me how impossible the interrupted sleep feels if I'm not dealing with a tiny baby. To be fair my tiny babies normally snuggled up with me to eat and be comforted, rather than screeching and writhing in my lap. Good times.

I don't imagine anything terribly serious is wrong with Michael, just something that is making him terribly uncomfortable. I'll try to leave an update later tonight or tomorrow, when we know what is (or isn't) wrong.

Don't you love it when I post from nervous energy?

Blerg

Harper had a great first week of school, and celebrated it by coming home with a terrible cold!

Ugh.

She's actually quite a trooper during the day, but oh, those sick nights. She wakes up crying, worked up beyond understanding, and there is nothing to do but help her calm down and hopefully sleep for another forty-five minutes. It is worse than having a newborn (although I never had a colicky newborn).

My kingdom for safe and effective kiddie NyQuil.

***

It seems there is a lot of yuck going around these days - having a child with a cold is getting off pretty easily, even if no one sleeps well the next couple of nights.

I wish for some peace for everyone who is having a hard time these days. Peace and a good night's sleep. Who doesn't need that?

First Day

Ah, the first day of school

I have to confess, today felt a lot less momentous to me than our previous first days. After all, this was our third first day of preschool! (Isn't that insane?) And today we were returning to last year's school and teacher. In fact, standing in the school hallway this morning, the entire thing felt so normal it seemed as though we'd really only been away for the weekend.

It was the first time, in many, many, many years, that I didn't have that back-to-school stomach feeling. I still love this time of year, but it failed to strike me in my gut this time around.

Harper was another story...


She was really, truly excited, and just a tiny bit nervous in the car this morning. I know it felt like a HUGE day to her and I made myself take a little extra time; I turned off the radio on the way to school and said appropriate beginning-of-the-year-mom things. You know: listen to your teachers, be kind, learn something, tell someone if you have to use the bathroom or don't feel well, we're proud of you, we love you.

Then Harper was all, "Mom, it's not my first time!"

(Your time will come all too soon!)

Harper had no patience with me when I tried to take her picture outside of the school building. It was TOO! BRIGHT!

Nana and Dziatku came to stay with Michael this morning, and I did some word testing with second graders while Harper was in school. Then we all met up and had lunch together at a favorite local stop -even Matt was able to meet us.

I can tell Harper had a terrific day, mostly because she behaved fairly appallingly at lunch (too worked up), but also because when we got in the car to head home she hollered, "It was AWESOME!"

Check and Check (and check and check and check)

Forms have been filled out (and copied).

Supplies have been purchased.

Art wall has been cleared.


Hair has been cut.
Bag has been packed.

Child has been bathed.

School starts tomorrow!

Why I'm Sad About the End of Reading Rainbow

Earlier today I listened to this NPR report about the end of the PBS children's program Reading Rainbow. And I'm not kidding when I tell you I was on the verge of tears.

Reading Rainbow will live on for a long time on DVD and I'm willing to bet there are copies of it at your local library right now. So I'm not so much upset that my children won't ever see Reading Rainbow again, I'm upset because of the shift in priorities that means Reading Rainbow isn't considered a good use of money any longer.

Simply put Reading Rainbow wasn't in the business of teaching the fundamentals of reading, it existed to help children learn to love reading - to take joy in reading books, and in thinking about books, and in making connections between what they read and the world around them - all of which are wonderful, important skills a reader should have. But they aren't phonics, and they aren't spelling...

For me, today, this strikes me as one small example of what I fear we're doing in our schools, which is to take the joy out of the equation. Standardized testing has put a great deal of fear and stress into the mix for children and teachers alike. While I know there are many wonderful schools and teachers who are still helping children love learning I think the current educational environment makes it more difficult for them to do so. We get so caught up in the results that we aren't taking enough time to be attentive to the process.



Of COURSE I think it is important for children to know how to read, I'm not denying that at all. I just think it is unfortunate when learning to read has to come at the expense of loving to read.


I'm aware that I'm grossly oversimplifying here. I wish I could articulate my point more efffectively.

Sigh.

Good-bye Reading Rainbow. I'll miss you.

(I love this picture of Harper and Erin's Calum from our recent visit. And speaking of our visit, Erin took the opportunity to interview me while I was there. Her interviews are hilarious so you might want to check it out!)

Almost Caught

I was trying to sneak up behind Michael and catch him walking behind the popper (Oh how I HATE that thing, but we don't have any other walk behind toys...), but then he started crawling instead. As per usual, ahem. I kept taping because I know how much I'm going to miss that little butt-waggle when he's permanently on his feet.

Mobility Updates

First of all, Michael is not walking yet, but have I mentioned that the boy has started climbing?

It started on July 29th, my sister's birthday. We were in the family room playing with some wooden puzzles and the holder they slide into just happened to be resting against the front of the couch. So Michael stepped up onto it...



Next thing I knew he was sitting up on the couch, just as pleased as could be. Lord help me!

As is the way with these things, he has mastered up long before mastering down. I have become accustomed to spending a significant portion of my day running across rooms to catch him before he tumbles head first off of some piece of furniture.

His favorite climb is the plastic slide in the basement - he would like to climb to the top and then step off.

Near-toddlers just don't have any appreciation for gravity.

Trippy

We are doing some cleaning out of the basement, or rather, an area of the basement that is overrun with very old stuff of mine. I have two large file boxes filled to the brim with old letters and I've been sorting them into a better storage situation, but it is taking a very long time.

Though I have improved over the years, I am a fairly sentimental person and I do attach lots of memories to things like letters and other odds and ends (ticket stubs, bits of candle wax...). Every once in a while I'm coming across something and I don't know what it is, or I will find a letter from someone I can't remember at all, and those things are unceremoniously disposed of. However, most of it is just wonderful, and, despite the many hours it will take me to organize it, I'm so so glad I have these boxes.

Perhaps the best find of the day? A birthday card signed by my (now all grown up) brother from back when he could barely write his own name.

I'm aware there may come a day when I come across these same letters again and find they don't seem so important to me anymore. OR my children may have one heck of a time reading them when I die!

I Heart Public Libraries

Okay, I'm cheating a little here by using last summer's pictures, but I wanted to talk for a minute about how much I adore our public library and the entire public library system. Go libraries!!!

Just this morning I was explaining to Harper that Summer Reading Club was over and that we'd have to wait until next year for another reading club. AND THEN we were at preschool story time this afternoon and found out that there is a special fall reading club, just for preschoolers, sponsored by the libraries and the metro parks. We signed up immediately. It's especially cool because there are several themes - each theme has a bookmark and each bookmark has a reading list and an activity list. You read a book off the list and do one activity off the list and then you can get your bug stamp for that theme. The idea is that you read books and they inspire you to get out and DO things.

Um, it sounds more complicated than it is. Harper is excited and so am I. It gives us something to focus on for the next couple of weeks until school beings. It's also good motivation to get out into our parks more. We are good at taking advantage of library programs, but not as good at utilizing the many amazing parks around here...

Anyway, back to the libraries. We consistently attend both baby and preschool story time. Harper has been going to story time since she was a toddler, about seventeen months old, and, when given a choice, she has never once told me she didn't want to go to the library. Michael already gets excited if you ask him if he'd like to go to story time, or if he'd like to go see our librarian, Miss Pat.


There was a huge uproar in Ohio this year, when the governor planned to cut the budget for libraries by 50%. Thanks to the public outcry the cuts ended up being only about 30%, better, but still such a shame. Our libraries provide wonderful public services, not only do they make books, music, and movies available for free, but they also offer all sorts of classes/services to help improve lives in our communities: literacy services, job services, computer access, etc. I know I'm not really even skimming the surface here, and a lot of that stems from the fact that the libraries offer a host of services that I don't particularly need, but I know my community needs them.

I wonder, sometimes, if all the parents are aware of how many early literacy skills are embedded into those story times. I wonder if they realize how much effort our librarian puts in to make sure those 30-45 minutes really count.

If you could see the number of books and CDs in my house (especially children's books) you would wonder why on earth I would ever bother with the library. But, as much as I may have tried, I don't have all the books. :-) And I love that the library carries things my children will enjoy temporarily so I don't have to buy them - like the 47 Land Before Time sequels.


I have loved the library since my dad used to take me there on Saturday mornings to look for Blue Bug books. Where I grew up our public library was inside a small building which was originally a church. It was tiny, but I wonder now if the stained-glass windows have anything to do with the reverence for libraries that I've always felt.

Libraries are easy things to take for granted, but I am hoping the people in my community don't, because they are going to be asked for money when we vote in November, and it will be badly needed.

(If you need convincing to feel good about your library, go there and find the book Goin' Someplace Special by Patricia C. McKissack!)

On the Road Again

A lot of the time I feel like I have to actively stop myself from worrying too much about Michael's development. All indications are that he's healthy and moving along just fine, though he is taking his sweet time with some of those milestones. Lately, as though he needed to reassure me, Michael seems to have ramped up to some new level of awareness of the world around him and his place in it.

For example - all of a sudden it is often important to him to do what Harper is doing. Therefore, if Harper colors...


Michael colors.


He thinks he's such a big boy, watching the cars, holding his crayons... For a moment I have a vision of homework sessions and afternoon snacks shared around this same table.

Then Michael starts to eat his crayons, and they have to be confiscated.


With Matt and his parents busy all weekend, I'm packing up the kids and taking this show on the road. Tomorrow afternoon we're headed to visit Erin and Tracy and I can't wait to throw our six kiddos together and see what happens, it's been far too long since we've visited. Put away your crayons Ladies, here we come!

Deer Park

Instead of either a) celebrating the fact that school starts soon or b) bemoaning the fact that school starts soon (for Harper), I thought I would take this stormy day to share a piece of our Wisconsin vacation.

Harper is a pretty big animal lover, so I thought we'd check out the Wisconsin Deer Park - which has been a fixture of the Wisconsin Dells since I was a child.

One thing I always, ALWAYS think about with a place like this (any animal interaction experience) is whether the animals are fed anything that might contain peanuts or peanut traces. Not surprisingly the regulations for animal food are different that those for our food, making it much, MUCH more difficult to obtain accurate information, in most cases.

I was delighted when the people I spoke with at the deer park were knowledgeable, kind, and helpful. And we determined that it was safe for Harper.

I have to say the grounds of the deer park aren't exactly impressive to look at, but the experience is pretty cool.


We purchased food, crackers made specifically not to upset the animals' stomachs, and entered the deer enclosure. Immediately several deer approached us, which Harper loved but Michael did not. Despite the signs asking us to avoid loud noises his first reaction was to shriek at top volume. After that we kept the deer a little further away from the stroller until Michael got used to the seemingly giant creatures walking around him.


The deer were pretty calm and mostly avoided us unless we were holding out food. When we did have food they walked over and kind of snuffled it right out of our hands, I was impressed with how gently they ate.


I was not nervous about having the children so near the animals at all, it was such a different experience than those frenzied goats you normally see at zoos...


Please note Michael is in his defensive position - thumb in mouth, but he did stop shrieking.


We were probably there for about an hour. I don't think it is something we'll necessarily do every time we visit the area, but I can imagine going back in a few years if Michael expresses an interest. I don't think Harper will forget feeding the deer any time soon.

MIA

My sister came to visit this week, bringing two of our cousins, ages 10 and 12. For years the girls have been asking to come visit and they were finally able to. Harper and Rebound, especially, are in mourning today w/out the two playmates that had been here most of the week. I had next to no "free time" for the computer - did you know that cooking and cleaning up after four kids is a lot more work than doing so for two kids????

It's been a great week overall and I'm so glad Natalie and Nicole (and Shannon!) were able to spend this time with us.

Where have we been?

The Art Institute
The Arboretum
The Children's Garden
A Baseball Game
The Air Force Museum
Picnicking
Playing
Entertaining







What did you do this week?

Score!

As far as I'm concerned, furniture is expensive. Any furniture, even the supposedly cheap, put-it-together yourself stuff. And when you buy the cheap stuff, it may not, despite your best efforts, be very sturdy. We've (I've) been in want of several pieces of furniture lately, including:

1) A comfortable pull-out couch situation for our family room

2) A recliner for Matt (that's more of a thing HE wants, but we've been looking at them so I'll add it here)

3) Some kind of long, closed, storage piece to go on the long wall in the dining room

4) A kitchen table and matching chairs (we have a table and chairs now, but they are kind of a mishmash and not in the chic way)

5) A new dining table and matching chairs

Until recently #6 on that list would have been bookshelf for Michael's room.

It seemed like time to remove the rest of the board books from Harper's shelf, then we had some on a shelf above the changing table (but Michael has been resembling a monkey lately and that shelf needed to come down), and the rest were sort of unceremoniously flopped into dilapidated* wicker baskets which weren't working so well as of late. So I was thrilled when, a few weeks ago, my friend MaryEllen (Auntie M) said her sister had a bookshelf she didn't need anymore and did I want it?

My expectations were not high, not because MaryEllen's sister has poor taste in furniture, but because if it was a GREAT bookshelf maybe they wouldn't be getting rid of it. But oh it is, it is a great bookshelf. And I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. And then we moved it into Michael's room, put things on it, and now I love it even more. It actually reminds me of something I would see (and covet) in a catalog like PBKids or Land of Nod - but we got it for free!!!

See how pretty:





One man's trash is my happy, happy day.


*I seriously always thought the word I wanted there was dilapiTated and I'm pretty sure I've always pronounced it as such. Embarrassing! I had to look it up three times after I saw the suggested spelling to make sure that was the word I meant. Which is a lot of effort for a blog post about a free bookshelf, but at least I learned something.

Diamond

Back in June the kids and I trekked to Wisconsin to help my dad's parents celebrate their 60th (!!!) wedding anniversary. 60 years people. They were high school sweethearts...


They renewed their vows and stood proudly together.


Sixty years, six children, twenty-one (I think!) grandchildren, and five great grandchildren add up to quite the married life.

My Aunt Kathleen made them a beautiful scrapbook filled with thoughts and memories written by their children and grandchildren. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever held in my hands. Our family is certainly not without its troubles, but I'd say they are far outweighed by blessings.

Tonight Matt and I celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary. Nothing would make me happier than to proudly be standing beside him in another 53 years. (We'll probably have colonized the moon by then, so the pictures will be really neat.)

Confession

It is time for me to admit it...

Harper still wears a diaper to bed.

I feel like this is some deep dark secret we've been keeping. My child is over 4 1/2 years old and still wakes up wearing a soaking wet pull-up each morning. Less than 1/2 a dozen times in the two years that she's been potty trained has the child woken up with a dry pull-up.

Our pediatrician is not worried, since Harper is consistent during the day. And, though she rarely naps anymore, she does stay dry during a nap. There is a general feeling that she'll just figure it out eventually. And yet, I still find it just a little bit worrisome.

I suppose I am open to suggestions on this matter, however, here are the things I am not currently interested in (re)trying:

- waking her up before I go to bed at night to go to the bathroom (it is like waking the dead, and she is not a happy camper if you wake her up, EVER)

- restricting her fluid intake (she has one small cup of milk and dinner and a tiny Dixie cup of water when brushing her teeth occasionally she has some other water after dinner)

- just letting her wet the bed, hoping she'll figure it out eventually

Thoughts?

Sprayground!

On Monday we had a chance to meet up with some other friends/bloggers at a park and "sprayground" near our house. Emily was visiting from other realms of Ohio and Jen was there with her kids as well. I know Emily because she was great high school friends with a college friend of mine. Jen and Emily, I think, grew up going to the same church. I first met Jen through our blogs but now we are somewhat "real life" friends. All caught up now?


We arranged a meet up since Emily was in town. Harper has played with Emily's daughter, Katy, before, but this was the first time she met Jen's kids. Even though I suspect we'll get together with Jen again and our kids will get along well, Harper mostly played with another random park-going child who was not a part of our arranged meet up - which I guess I can't argue with! Even if they didn't stick together like glue, it was still fun to see all of our kiddos in the mix. It is sort of cliche to say so at this point, but one of the great things about blogging is the people it has brought me in touch with, people I would not likely have know were it not for our little online lives.


Michael was an angel and just chilled in his stroller for the first half of the morning, just on the cusp of falling asleep. Once he got restless I entertained him for a while in the swing; he was not at all interested in the water. I suspect this will change once he is walking around and steady on his feet. I wouldn't want to crawl into geyser either.



Harper was all over the place: in the water, playing "pirates" on the equipment, and playing hide and seek.


The sprayground isn't a park we go to very often since Michael is a little young to really enjoy it and it is often very, very crowded (As in the daycare vans pull up and let out dozens of kids at a time!), but it was lovely to spend the morning there and catch up with Jen and Emily a bit.

The most shocking moment of the day came when we sat the three littlest down together and I saw that Michael and David are practically the same size - I wish I had a photo from when they were together LAST spring and Michael was about half David's size. My little preemie is certainly catching up. I really love this photo of David, Michael, and Emmy:

All three kids are facing the camera - that's success when you're dealing with little ones. And this was taken after Emmy had tried to take off Michael's hat; sometimes you can't recover from those photographic circumstances!

*****

On Saturday we are going to get up before the sun (seriously, by several hours), put the kids in the car, and head to the Wisconsin Dells for a week of vacation with my family. We will be totally off the grid - no internet, no cell phones (gasp!) for the week. If all our packing is finished I might schedule a few things to post while we're gone. So it will seem like I'm here, even though I'll be partying it up family style. The internet is tricky that way. Hope you're all enjoying summer - see you after vacation!

It's Good to be a SAHM, It's Good to be a SAHM...

Yeah, so, I didn't get the job.

Interviewing was a good experience, and the principal I interviewed with told me quite enthusiastically that I had done a good job. He reiterated this sentiment over the phone when telling me he would not be hiring me. They went (surprise, surprise) with someone who had more job experience. I understand this, and yet, I will never have that specific job experience if no one will give me a job! Ahem.

Again, I was disappointed. As my mom gently pointed out to me earlier this summer, I haven't "tried out" for very many things (teams, jobs, scholarships) and not gotten them. Not that there have been so many, but I've been pretty lucky (and had some fortuitous connections) in the past. It may be that my ability to deal with this sort of disappointment (I temporarily sobbed like a baby) is a little underdeveloped.

Harper was disappointed, too. "You didn't get the job?! I really wanted to go to day care!"

Fortunately not working outside the home (or only doing it on the occasional sub day) means I have more time to enjoy Harper's interpretation of questionable musical numbers like this one:

Annie has been good to us, but I feel like we need to branch out, what child-friendly musicals do you suggest?

P.S. Thanks for all the supportive comments here and on facebook - you internet people are nice!

To Work or Not to Work?

Sometime last winter Matt and I started talking about whether we might be ready for me to return to work (for the purposes of this post, let's all assume I mean outside the home when I use the word "work"). Without diving headlong into an ugly debate, let's just say that my views on whether two parents should work have changed significantly since I became a mother - this is one of many, many issues I have had shift since I faced the reality of raising children rather than just the idea of raising children.

Before having children I liked my job, but wasn't necessarily ambitious career-wise. Then Harper was born, at the beginning of a long Midwestern winter, and the isolation of the stay-at-home life hit me like a Mack truck. I am a social being, I discovered, and even though play groups and blogging (Oh how the blogging saved me, no joke!) eased that, eventually to a great degree, I have never felt totally at ease in the stay-at-home mom gig. Don't get me wrong, of course I love my kids, and I wouldn't trade them for another kind of life, and while the "mommy" role suits me better now that it ever did that first year, I find myself feeling like I might be a better mother if I also had chunks of time devoted to an endeavor beyond the walls of our home.

At first I thought I would be a stay-at-home mom forever, now I don't think so anymore. No one is more surprised about this than me.

When I returned to school to get my master's degree it was a crazy time, it was difficult and I was usually exhausted, but I loved it. I loved being challenged in that way and having conversations with adults about education and technology and literature on a regular basis. I loved the adult companionship. I loved having something that was mine.

The agreement, when I went back to school, was that I did intend to put that degree to use, sooner or later. As a result of a multitude of factors, this winter it started to feel like it might be the right time to look for a job and I started to research child care options. One thing that made it easier to decide that I could go back to work was the place we plan on sending the children if I get a job. It is a gorgeous center, a place where both children can receive both preschool and child care, and it is peanut-free to boot. I liked it so much when I visited that it made me want to go back to work, just so the children could be there.

Even though it was scary I started to wrap my mind around the idea that I might really want to go back to work, then I had that long-term subbing job. Despite being only half-days, it actually made me feel like going back to work was do-able.

Here are some things (purposefully vague) that have happened, job-potential wise, in the last few months:

• Get a call from a family friend indicating there might be a half-time library position at a nearby elementary school - perfect! We start discussing a return to work in earnest and look into childcare options.
• Visit, talk with, several child care providers, find one we love, put down deposits to save spaces for the children for the fall.
• Get letter from principal of previously mentioned elementary school, they don't end up with any openings for the coming school year, find myself surprised at the crushing disappointment I feel.
• Accept and enjoy long-term sub job.
• Find out two local high schools (one actually a middle and high school) are hiring media specialists for fall. Debate whether I want to work in a high school (initial thought: no).
  
• Apply for high school positions, deciding, if nothing else, that interview experience would be good for me.
• Do not get interview EITHER place - too late applying for one, apparently not among most qualified applicants for other.
• Again with the disappointment.
• Seeing no other positions available, I begin to shift my mindset and think of all the great things about being a stay-at-home parent for another year. (I won't have to stop watching bad television, I don't need to "dress up" except for church on Sunday, etc.)
• Get phone call this morning from another high school where a library position suddenly opened up which needs to be filled quickly.
• Arrange interview for Thursday morning.
• Try to push mindset back to "I'm ready to go to work" mode.
• Repeatedly remind myself that an interview and a job offer are two very distinct things.
• Realize I won't sleep much for the next two nights.

And there we are.

Oh, Hi!

So I have been pretty much out of the blogging loop for nearly two weeks. Not writing (obviously) and not reading or commenting much either.

It was nice, in a way, to take a little break, not feel so compelled to jump to the computer every three minutes. But I think I'm finally over the break and will try to ease back into things.

The problem with a blogging break is that I am now so overwhelmed by all the things I'd like to write about I am not sure where to begin...

How about a couple of quick Harper stories?

I have mentioned before how charming I find some of her language misunderstandings and how I'll be sad when they've been outgrown. Here's what's cracking me up lately:

When Harper is at loose ends she'll come over to me and whine, "Mom, I'm really boring!"

Tonight on the phone with Auntie M she was trying to say something didn't bother her and it came out, "I just don't matter."

***

Later tonight a bug surprised her in our front hallway, some kind of beetle, about a centimeter or two in diameter, and the shriek she let out nearly gave me a heart attack. I was on the phone with my mother-in-law (Nana, Ann, etc.) at the time and she thought something horrible had happened. For the rest of the night Harper refused to cross that part of the floor, claiming she didn't want to step in any leftover bug blood.