Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Wiped Out

Hello all.

So Michael and I are doing fine. I'm obviously grateful that we are both relatively healthy after the ordeal of the past month or so. But I am just plain worn out. I think the combination of hormones, the c-section (which apparently some people handle better than I do, because I am being a big baby about the amount of pain I'm in), the fact that my legs are not recognizable as being human (puffy from the combo of bed rest and all the IV fluids before and after surgery), and the fact that I'll be going home on Thursday and we have to leave Michael here is just proving to be a little overwhelming for me. I don't have the energy to post much else right now, but I thought you'd like some more pictures?

Michael still has an IV (though it is now in the side of his head - ouch!) for nutrients and antibiotics. They are hoping to be able to get rid of that soon.

Here's Michael working on his scrunched up old man face. . . the tube in his nose is how they are going to start feeding him. He "ate" for the first time this morning. I think Matt and I are going to get to be with him when they feed him later this afternoon. I've been pumping since yesterday and they will take every sad little drop I can give and get it to him. It is hard to imagine getting from this place to having him home and snuggling with him to nurse him, but we'll get there.

Finally, here is a picture of Harper, remember her? Matt took the camera home last night so she could see the pictures of Michael. She isn't allowed in the NICU during cold and flu season, so she hasn't met him yet. Matt told me she kept saying, "He's so cute!" My mom told me that Harper saw a picture of me holding Michael and said, "Mommy looks so happy." Which, of course, made me burst into tears. I miss my sweet girl.

After seeing all the pictures of Michael, Harper wanted Matt to take her picture. With silverware, apparently.


Erin said...

Oh oh oh! Pictures! I love them. Michael looks perfect and beautiful. Harper does as well, of course, but that's nothing new.

I hope you are able to gain some energy soon, but please don't be hard on yourself. You have been through so much. It will be so hard to leave that little boy, but you will be nearby, you will see him everyday, you will take him home sooner than it feels.

Hang in there sweetie. Thank you for posting the pictures.

Mommy Daisy said...

Oh Kelsey, you made me cry! The photos are great. What an adorable little guy. And Harper is just as cute as ever.

Take it easy and rest as much as possible. That's one (and probably only- besides them needing to be there) good thing about having a baby in the NICU, you get to rest and recoperate before bringing the baby home. Keep pumping too. It will be worth it. If you need help, be sure to ask the lactation consultants. I never got a good supply in because my son was in the NICU for a week and didn't nurse until days after he was born. I feel like I should have done more at the beginning and asked the lactation consultants for more help than I did earlier on.

Anyway, I know that you can do this! You have such a sweet little baby there, and he will be coming home VERY soon. We'll be praying for a quick recovery for you and a short hospital stay for little Michael.

Jen said...


Have you checked to see if they have a parent room available for you to stay in once you are released from the hospital? Our youngest was born at the same hospital and was in the NICU for two days after I was released. I was able to stay in a parent room (free of charge!) so that I could be there to feed her every 2 1/2 hours. The accomodations aren't great and you'll have to get your own meals, but it is worth it to be close to your little one.

Love the pictures! Hang in there!

Swistle said...

My first c-section, after "only" 27 hours of labor (not three days) was way worse than my scheduled ones. They all do hurt, though---but they get better soon. Second day was the worst, then it gets better from there. In the meantime, take the pain meds as often as you can (my first c, I didn't realize I had to ASK for the medicine, so I sat there without any until a nurse was like, "Huh? Have you not been taking your medicine? You can have it every four hours, you know!"

Swistle said...

Look at me, just dishing out the advice unasked. Here's what I should have said: He is GORGEOUS! And things will get better! And REST and HEAL! Oh, shoot, that's advice again.

Emily said...

Oh, what a sweet big sister Harper is already! And I can't imagine all that you are going through, Kels, physically and emotionally. Having a baby is such an ordeal under normal circumstances, and all this extra challenge is just - wow. You are going through leaps and bounds for your little boy and are such a wonderful mom. You're a great looking family already!

Giselle said...

Ugh...Harper's comment about "Mommy looks so happy" just reduced me to tears. And of course the picture with the silverware made me chuckle through them.

I can't imagine what you're going through. Can't even try. But you've already proven yourself to be a strong, selfless mother, so I know you will rise to the challenge. I be thinking of you all day on Thursday. Okay...I already think of you a lot anyway. ;)

desperate housewife said...

Oh, he's so tiny and perfect! I can't believe how big that pacifier looks in his mouth! I'm glad he seems to be doing as well as can be expected; he looks like a healthy little guy.
Sorry you had such a rough labor/delivery and that you're still in pain. Heck, I was begging for drugs after a fairly normal vaginal delivery! So just rest and recover as much as you can- we're thinking of you!

Hillary said...

Kelsey, he is beautiful and perfect. Congratulations! It was so nice to see more pictures of Michael and of course, one of Harper with silverware. Love you tons!

Jana said...

Hi....just stopping by after seeing Mommy Daisy's link to your announcement. Congratulations on your beautiful son! I hope the recovery gets easier for you (like Swistle, the day after the c/s was the worst for me and then it got much better). I can't wait to read more about your little guy. Congrats again.