Saturday, March 15, 2008


Oh. My. Goodness.

I have been a little like a zombie since getting home on Thursday. There's so much to do here, yet I'm still having trouble moving without pain, and I'm trying to pump every three hours to get my milk supply up (TMI? Sorry.) even through the night, and trying to get over to the NICU to visit with/feed/hold Michael, and I'm finding getting to the computer to be a significant challenge. It will be easier in a couple of weeks when I can drive again because everything seems to take such intense coordination these days. Whew. It's a little overwhelming and more than a little tiring.

We're all doing well. I think I'm recovering as well as can be expected, but after a month in bed I get tired so easily. And if I'm up and walking around my back starts to really hurt after a few minutes. It is going to be a long road to getting back in any kind of shape. My feet and ankels are still swollen to Shrek-like proportions, but some of the swelling has gone out of my hips/thighs/knees, so we'll call that progress.

Michael is doing well. He is out from under the bilirubin light, which means we can hold him for longer periods of time. His feedings have increased to 18 ml at each feeding. I think he has to be able to tolerate 40 ml reliably before we can start thinking of bringing him home.

Harper is readjusting to having me at home and more shifting authority. We had an hour stand-off at lunch today because she wouldn't ask nicely to get down from the table. She can be such a stubborn thing! All she had to do was ask to get down using the work please. It's not as though I was asking her to do anything unusual, but she refused. So she just sat at the kitchen table for an hour while we went about our business. Every once in a while I would pop in and ask her if she was ready to move on. Sixty minutes later, she was. Here's the funny thing about three-year-olds. . . she was perfectly capable of just getting down on her own, without permission, but she just stayed put!

Of course she has been showing her sweet side, too. Yesterday I opened a card my grandparents had sent, welcoming Michael, and Harper said, "That was so nice of them!"

Finally, here some pictures of Michael with "everyday objects" to try to give you an idea of how tiny he is, despite being HUGE relative to many of the other NICU babies:

Look at his itty-bitty fingers! Also, he doesn't seem that much bigger than my hand.

Michael next to my book club book.

This one is a little difficult to see, but that's Michael with my cell phone next to his head! His head is barely bigger.


Marie Green said...

Oh, he is soooo cute. So, so cute. He still looks very healthy to me.

I had a very difficult recovery with my 3rd child- I had 5 surgeries following her birth to deal with some complications from my csection. So I can totally relate to the s-l-o-w recovery. What worked for me was to not expect too much from myself, and to really listen to my body. If I needed to sit down, or sleep, or whatever, I did. The dishes will wait! =)

So be very gentle with yourself, and give that sweet boy lots of kisses from his internet fan club!

Swistle said...

I am feeling so SORRY for you, because postpartum is ALREADY tiring and difficult, and after a c-section it's even MORE tiring and difficult, and after a month in bed it must be like some sort of HELL DIMENSION. (I've been watching Buffy and Angel, so everything reminds me of hell dimensions.) And you must be thinking on one hand "Must! rest!" and on the other hand "Must get strong again!" And then the pump, the horrible, horrible pump. And the worry about the baby, and the visits to the hospital and BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH.

I feel so antsy, wanting to HELP. I wish I were local so I could come over and do some housework: it's true what Marie says, about how the dishes can wait---but on the other hand, SOMEONE has to do them EVENTUALLY of you'll have NO DISHES. (Paper plates?)

Erin said...

I feel exactly like Swistle said.

But it sounds like you are doing fabulously. I don't know HOW you are doing it, but that's it's no new thing that you amaze me.

I love the photos of Michael. He is SO TINY! And beautiful. Even seeing the photos, it's hard for me to get my mind around a human that little.

Erin said...

Oh hey. Me again.

Something TOTALLY CHEESY that I feel the need to tell you publicly on your blog:

One of our household's all time favorite kids songs is one that you sent me on a cd once, "Garden Grow." We were listening to it just this morning and I got all choked up and teary, thinking of you. It's like your theme song! "Inch by inch, row by row, I'm gonna make this little boy grow..."

I tried to warn you; I'm getting seriously cheesy in my old age.

all4nothin said...

Oh, Kelsey, I really can't imagine that it gets much more painful, difficult, or stressful than this. You are amazing that you are even able to talk and stay a little positive and keep us all posted on your progress. He is beautiful, you are amazing, keep up the good work and take care of yourself.

Emily said...

That "all4nothin" is me - I forgot to logout of Brian's account...

Mommy Daisy said...

Kelsey, remember you only need to be on survival mode right now. Just do what you need to get by, don't sweat the other things. I think it sounds like you're doing great already. Michael is an adorable little baby. The cell phone give a great tiny! Still praying for a speedy hospital stay.

Liz said...

awww, he is so precious and tiny! i always wondered how i would fare if i have to leave my baby at the hospital and i don't know that i would do half as well as you are doing. you are amazing and doing a great job. and you made me laugh about your shrek-like proportions. i totally remember those big foreign legs - nobody tells you the weird and creepy stuff about labor do they? :) you are doing a great job and here's hoping little michael can come home soon.

desperate housewife said...

I can't believe how bitty that baby is! But he's so perfect. I hope you're able to get through these difficult days quickly, and soon your baby will be home with your family.