Midwest Mom

At Five

2013-04-25T22:33:00.000-04:00

Dear Michael,

One of these years we'll celebrate a birthday of yours and I won't think about how it wasn't supposed to happen until May... Really though, I am so incredibly grateful that people who meet you today probably don't realize that you were born nine weeks early. In a way you will always be my baby, but you certainly aren't a baby anymore!

Last month you turned five years old. I say it every single time I reflect on your birthday, but where on earth does this time go?

We've really turned your world upside down in the last year. I went back to work full time in the fall and you left your school to go back to the preschool/daycare you were at the spring you turned two. You've done well in your school this year. You've learned and grown and made friends. It took you a long time to come out of your shell, but you really have blossomed.

How will we remember this past year? We've watched you encounter all kinds of new experiences and each time you've approached them the same way. You wait and you watch. Sometimes for an agonizingly long time. You have a need to spend some time thinking about a situation before you commit to being a part of it. This is has been true of everything from swimming in a new hotel pool to joining with friends at a birthday party.

The rough-and-tumble boy you can be has come out with the fullest force ever this year. You play aggressively with your friends at school and come home talking about Star Wars and Rescue Bots and Transformers and all sorts of things that you didn't encounter in our house. You are slowly learning to identify the times and places where rough play is appropriate as well as when it isn't such a great idea. For instance, sneaking into the kitchen and karate-chopping the back of my legs while I'm preparing dinner has turned out not to be such a good idea.

As rough as you can be, you are something of a gentle giant as well. (Did I mention that you are now in the 95% for height and the 90% for weight?) We have yet to find a movie you can watch without crying at some point, either from being sad or afraid. Even certain books and songs will bring you to tears. You hate to see anyone else feel sad, left out, or left behind. Eventually I imagine you'll be able to sit through a Disney movie without dissolving into tears, but I also hope you'll hold on to that tender heart as you grow.

Your obsession with sports grows stronger each year and baseball is your favorite. You will watch any baseball game on television, even if it is between two college teams that you've never heard of. You cannot wait to play baseball (that's coming later this year) and are trying out soccer right now. You love your soccer practices and games, despite the fact that you play as though you are participating in a game you are watching on a three-second delay. While you figure it out you are just happy to be on the field and keep telling us how great it is!

The rest of this year is going to bring more huge changes your way. After what feels like an eternity of debating what to do, we have decided to send you to kindergarten this fall. I can't wait to see how you navigate in that new world and what other surprises you have in store for us.

You are delightful Michael. You bring so much joy to our days with the appreciation you have for the little things in life. I will never get tired of hearing how great your day was or how I make the best sunbutter and jelly sandwiches in the world. It is a gift to be your mother. I love you.

Love,
Mom

Fatigue

2013-03-03T21:00:00.000-05:00

Do they look older to you?

Michael will be FIVE on Saturday, which is completely mind-blowing. We are in the midst of things like kindergarten screening and just signed him up for spring soccer. I know how cliche it is, but seriously, where does the time go?

And speaking of time, there isn't much of it these days. I really thought I would be able to keep blogging once or twice a week while I worked and I think a lot about it. However, when it comes down to it I tend to choose sleep and sanity over computer time. I miss the blogging community though, and I hope to dial back into things over the summer.

The last four weeks have been a special kind of brutal because we have been sick, sick, sick around here. Harper and Michael had no-apparent-reason fevers the first week of February. Then we had a visit from the vomit fairy the second week of February (only for the children, thank goodness). Last week Michael was diagnosed with strep. After three hours at children's urgent care today we realized Harper had an ear infection, which we expected, and pneumonia, which was an unfortunate surprise diagnosis.

Of course with all that illness comes the ever-exhausting dance to figure out which adult is not going where he or she thought for the day. Matt's parents have been hugely helpful, but Harper alone has already had six sick days since February 1st. It's getting a little old. There wasn't one day last week that both of my children went to school.

My job is exhausting and frustrating and lots of wonderful. I have gotten to know some amazing children and families this year. I have worked with some of my favorite people on the planet. Aside from all the sick days and maybe being a little extra tired, Harper and Michael are both thriving in their environments, childcare included.

Soon it will be time to make decisions about what next school year will bring, for me and for our children. I thought by this point in the year I would have a clearer picture of whether we'd made the right decision and what decision we should make going forward. If there was ever a time I wished for a crystal ball, this is it. I never imagined the choice between working and staying at home would seem this difficult. We'll all have to stay tuned to see what happens next.

I am not sure who might still be checking in here, after all this time has passed. Still I would be remiss if I failed to mention that we are once again raising money for March of Dimes and planning to walk in the 2013 March for Babies at the end of April. We've had such amazing support for the event the past few years. I'm hoping a few of you will consider supporting us again - the link is over on the right.

Eight

2012-12-31T22:57:00.000-05:00

Dear Harper,

Shortly after beginning this blog we celebrated your first birthday and I wrote you a letter to mark the occasion. I have done the same every year since that first birthday.

Life has been very different for our family in the last few months as Dad and I are now both working full time. Some things have had to change and, unfortunately, one of those things has been the amount of time I've spent writing here. Your birthday passed six weeks ago but I still want to write to you. One thing I'm really learning this year is that just because I can't do something perfectly doesn't mean that I shouldn't do it at all. Since it is New Year's Eve and you will turn NINE in 2013, I figured I'd better get to it.

You are eight.

I know hearing your age isn't nearly as jarring for you as it is for me. Still, eight is a pretty remarkable number, don't you think? At Christmas Eve dinner this year it occurred to me that it was the ninth year we'd celebrated Christmas with you and got all choked up because the time has gone so unbelievably fast.

You've had a bunch of new adventures this year - dancing in your first big recital, attending bowling and basketball camps, playing with the big kids (fifth graders!) in after school daycare, and trying tennis. Your world is getting bigger and bigger, as is your attitude. In many ways you've always seemed older than your age, but this year, especially in the last few months, it has become clear to me that you are on the verge of a whole bunch of big kid stuff. The questions you ask, the way you speak, the eye-rolling (already?), all of it gives glimpses into this new phase we seem to be entering.

When I was a summer camp counselor eight-year-olds were some of my favorite campers. Yes you have one toe in that big-kid world, but you still buy into a whole slew of wonderful, magical, little kid stuff too. You like to play pretend, be read to, and you were all in on the Santa Claus thing for another blissful Christmas. You aren't too embarrassed to be with your parents, and better yet, you still love spending time with your dad and me.

You have pushed your boundaries this year, at home and at school, and I don't think you have the fear of "getting in trouble" that I carried with me during my childhood. This is mostly a good thing, as you really aren't afraid to take your place in the world, though I occasionally wish you were just a little more concerned about following the rules. You are more likely to evaluate the rules and follow the ones you feel should apply to you...

Of course I'm really proud of so many of the things you've done. Back in the spring you worked really hard to write a story and make book as an end of the year gift to your first grade teacher. When she sent you a thank you she promised to come to a signing when you are a published author. You are developing your own tastes and interests, independent of things your father and I have tried to introduce you to and you love to read (especially graphic novels and mysteries), write, and cried your first happy tears when you received a desk for your birthday. You've also become a big music fan this year - Taylor Swift is your favorite - and you got a guitar for Christmas and can't wait to learn how to play and write your own songs.

There are moments when I look at you or listen to you and my breath is completely taken away. I cannot believe the little baby I spent all those winter mornings snuggling with and reading to has become this big, beautiful child. I continue to learn and grow as you learn and grow. Being your mother is the biggest challenge and honor of my life. I love you, Harper, and I can't wait to see what the next year will bring.

Love,
Mom

NaNoWha?

2012-11-01T21:59:00.000-04:00

So yes, for the first time in a long time, my guess is that National Blog Posting Month is not going to happen here this year...

I'm sure you're shocked.

We're doing fine, but I'm having a hard time justifying taking time to blog as I'm falling asleep every night thinking of the things for school or around the house that I've yet again failed to do. Being back to work sure has been a humbling experience!

We totally phoned it in for Halloween this year. As the cold and soggy remnants of Sandy landed firmly in Ohio this week I had the wicked brilliant idea to skip trick-or-treat all together and take the kids bowling in their costumes:

These are not the kids.

Of course we still stopped by my in-laws where there were bags of nut-free candy waiting for them. So they got plenty of candy, bowled a game, and avoided making our already present coughs and sniffles worse by hiking around in the rain for an hour. Win-win?

Hello?

2012-09-29T21:14:00.001-04:00

I moment ago I took the dog out in the front yard. It is a beautiful, clear, autumn night. I looked up to see a blanket of stars. The air was full of the sound of fireworks (?) and the local high school band playing at the football game. The scent of a fire wafted up from a neighbor's yard. It was a few minutes of deep and satisfying peace.

This transition from full time momming to full time teaching has been a lot. It is almost as jarring and intense as the transition to being a parent. It's only been six weeks so we're still in that newborn haze. I am only now, just a little bit, coming up for air. I miss this online community fiercely, though I don't have too much time to dwell on it...

Things are happening here. School and field trips and croup and new experiences and dog cancer (he's okay now, but whoa) . ~~Most~~ Some days feel barely together, like the universe is bound by nothing more than a prayer and an old rubber band.

I would love for someone to tell me this will get even a little bit easier. If you know that it really won't then you just shush.

Are you still out there? How are you?

Heigh-Ho

2012-08-14T00:36:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up, got dressed, and went to work! How crazy is that?

We don't have students at my school until next week so I've been doing a lot of organizing of my room. It started out looking sparse but very clean.

This was taken one day last week when Michael came
to "help" me at school.

Then I realized I was never going to know what was in all of those tall cabinets unless I took it out and put it back in a way that made sense to me. Things got worse...

By the end of the day today it was about 1/2 put away. I also attended my orientation, met one of my students (her mom brought her in to get some paperwork from the office), and did a lot of deep breathing.

Harper and Michael start school tomorrow. Last night we all went mini-golfing after dinner. One last family activity before our summer comes to an end.

After school today I ran home to get the kids and we all met Matt up at Harper's meet-the-teacher night. Then it was quick dinner, baths, and kids in bed. I've been up doing paperwork for Harper's school, readying lunches (I forgot how I detest that), and making mental lists of everything that needs to happen tomorrow. With any luck I'll remember at least half of it!

File Under Mommy Guilt

2012-08-11T22:41:00.001-04:00

After several months of begging me to please get a job (last spring) so she could go to the school daycare with her friends, I sat in Harper's bed tonight as she sobbed to me, "Mommy I don't want you to go back to work."

Oh boy.

If I were the hashtag sort, mine would be #alittlelateforthat

The Longest Week

2012-08-05T00:09:00.003-04:00

The last full week of July we spent time with Matt's family on vacation in Michigan. We stayed at a house in Fennville, only a few minutes' drive from the little beach where these photos (and the photo below) were taken.

Maybe the sun was in his eyes?

I was a little bit of a vacation grouch as I'm STILL working on my summer coursework and spent a fair amount of time hunched over the laptop while everyone was swimming. Sigh. I also came home with some fairly gnarly neck and back pain. Vacation fail.

This year Matt's parents rented a house that had its own pool. The past two times we've headed up to this area for vacation we were in situations where we had a long walk or short drive to community use pools. I cannot say enough about how much this enhanced our experience of vacationing with the kids. Especially since there were five or six (one adult was only there for a portion of the week) adults for the two children, someone was almost always game for sitting out by the pool with them. I woke up one morning a little after eight and Harper had already been swimming!

Michael's big accomplishment was learning to willingly let his head go underwater. I know it looks like he's drowning in the following picture, but I just happened to catch him in the instant between when he jumped in (from the steps) and when his flotation device helped him pop back up to the surface.

So Michael and Harper were in and out of the pool several times a day for six days. And most of the time Michael was in the pool he was practicing putting his head underwater.

Thursday night of our trip Michael woke several times saying his teeth hurt. We came home Friday and then were up with him through most of the night Saturday as he screamed about his ear hurting. Sunday I took him to Children's Urgent Care and discovered he had swimmer's ear.

I don't know if you've ever dealt with swimmer's ear, but it was definitely the worst illness/affliction we've dealt with in a long time, maybe ever. It was horrendous - we needed ibuprofen and eventually Tylenol with Codeine to manage Michael's pain. He couldn't eat anything but yogurt and applesauce for two days because it hurt to chew. And we got only slightly more sleep than if we had a newborn in the house.

It was rough.

In the midst of this we were going to vacation bible school every day (I was a co-leader of one of the main areas, so no staying home with Michael) and Harper had swimming lessons Monday through Thursday nights.

Even though Michael has (mostly) healed and there were some fun things throughout the week, this picture taken shortly after lunch yesterday really sums it up:

Too tired to climb into bed for a nap...

My PSA for tonight - if you're going to let your children swim for hours a day, you may want to make sure they get the water out of their ears.

Butterflies

2012-07-31T23:55:00.001-04:00

I realize that I told you I got a job for the fall, but I don't believe I said WHAT job I got...

It wasn't a library job, which is what I've been interviewing for the past THREE summers. Bummer. School library jobs are about as scarce as money trees where I live, with districts that have traditionally had librarians in all their buildings cutting all but ONE of their library positions. Good times. Most elementary schools around here have a "librarian" but they are not paid on the professional teacher scale and many of them do not have library or even education degrees. That, I suppose, is a conversation for another day.

ANYWAY - If I was going to go back to work, but not in a school library, the job I have is exactly the one I would have chosen. I am going back to the school where I did my student teaching, and then where I worked for years 3 and 4 of my career, leaving at the end of the school year when I was pregnant with Harper.

You guys, I LOVE THIS SCHOOL. I wish I could link to the website here, but that would be pinpointing a little too precisely where we live. (If you already know where we live, you could, uh, just do a search for independent schools in this area, and you'd find it.)

I am going back to teach first grade - which happens to be the grade I taught previously at this school and at the school where I worked the first two years of my career. Certainly some things have changed in the past eight years, but enough of it is the same that I'm not stepping into completely unfamiliar territory.

Have I mentioned that the school I will work at is about four minutes from our house? There are songs on my iPod that will last longer than my commute.

The school where I'm working is an independent school - which means a lot of good things, but one of the best is that our maximum class size in the lower grades is 18 students. Yup. 18 students is a BIG class at this school. Things can still change before the start of the year, or even during the year, but right now there are 12 names on my class list. Love it.

The icing on the cake is the fact that the people I'm going to be working most closely with - the other first grade teacher, the reading specialist, and my principal are all people I've know since I did my student teaching. They are amazing educators that I have tremendous respect for and I know that working with them raises the level of my own teaching. Not only that, these women are my friends. And have been for years. I get to go to work every day with people I adore.

So here I am, thirteen days from the beginning of the school year. I'm thrilled about the job and nervous as heck about the how this transition will go for our family. I have that feeling I used to get standing in line for the big roller coasters at the amusement park, especially when the wait was long... pretty sure I'm going to have a blast, but not 100% certain that it won't kill me.

Ten Years Ago

2012-07-27T20:50:00.002-04:00

Happy anniversary to my wonderful husband!

Ah...

2012-07-23T13:49:00.000-04:00

Status Updates

2012-07-17T15:28:00.001-04:00

So I'm off of Facebook until my summer coursework is finished. Which may very well mean you won't see me back on Facebook until mid-August (er, when I'll be back to work, so I might not be on much then either).

Not that many people are out there wondering lots about us due to my lack of status updating, but I have found that I am kind of missing posting that way. If I WERE using Facebook, recent updates may have gone something like this:

Three of the five creatures who live under this roof peed either in their beds or on the floor on the same day. That's too much laundry.

The AAU girls' basketball team Matt coaches is playing in a National semi-final game tonight (yes, for real, tonight - July 17th).

I love that AAU nationals are in Cincinnati so we can to go the games and support Matt's team. I love less that our schedules have been 100% upended because of it - last night the kids at sandwiches for dinner at 7:45, which is SUPER late for them.

Harper is attending bowling camp this week. Bowling for 5-12 year-olds. I was a little worried when the gentleman running it began with a packet of handouts. The little kids were looking at it like they had no idea what it was for! Fortunately he's actually really good with the children and has the patience of a saint...

I was hoping to have all my school work finished before we went on vacation. Um, that is really, REALLY not happening. The good news is I can do some homework poolside?

And finally:

Homemade water slide:

Some Firsts

2012-07-12T00:54:00.001-04:00

Recently Michael has developed an all out obsession with baseball. Earlier this summer he actually sat through all nine innings of a minor league game. He has favorite players, favorite teams, and likes to watch the umpire to see whether a pitch is a ball or a strike. So this year, after a good long afternoon nap, we let him stay up to watch the first inning of the MLB All Star Game.

Unfortunately he doesn't quite have the concept of all-star down and kept asking exactly which teams were playing.

Michael never used to sit still to watch television at all - now he'd watch all day as long as some kind of sporting event was being broadcast.

Harper's first was a jump off the high dive at the rec center where she's been taking swimming lessons. I was really excited for her - she just marched up there and did it with barely any hesitation at all. I don't recall the first time I jumped off the high dive, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't seven. She accomplished the feat yesterday, twice, and wasn't sure she'd do it again... "It feels like I'm falling," she explained, "and I don't really like to fall."

But I convinced her to give it another go today so her brother could see it in person - he was totally impressed - and so I could capture the moment.

Climbing the ladder:

Walking the plank:

Jumping off:

And then she did it again so I could get it on video...

As for me, I did something for the first time in a LONG time... bought an academic calendar. In a little over a month I'll be back in the classroom - yikes!

The Stripey One

2012-07-07T22:22:00.000-04:00

This summer, almost without fail, when I've sent Michael to his closet to pick out clothes, this is what he chooses:

Even though I very specifically ask him to pick something with short sleeves and shorts, he comes out with the hanger bearing this outfit. Every. Stinkin'. Time. And every summer day I've had to send him back and explain he can't wear those clothes because it is too hot outside and I accompany him to his room to find a more suitable outfit.

That picture was taken this morning when he decided to try something new and just put the clothes on instead of bringing them out for my approval... too bad the forecast called for temps above one-hundred degrees today.

"But Mom," he protested, "I'm not even hot at all!"

You see the striped shirt and pants with stripes down the sides compose his most very favorite outfit ever. Incidentally he also asked for it every day this winter, and always wore it the first day it was clean from the wash. Aside from being inappropriately warm for any summer day, let alone with the crazy heat wave we've been a part of, the outfit is also getting too small. He is going to be devastated when I pack it away with the other things he's outgrown. You can believe I will be scouring the stores for similar items as soon as the fall things hit the sales floor. Probably any day now.

This striped outfit, and Michael's fondness for it, is just one of the many little things I want to remember about these days. It takes so little to make him happy.

I made a concession about the clothes - agreeing to let him wear them as pajamas tonight. They only lasted about half an hour before he decided he was too hot and deigned to be changed into something else but it made him willing to compromise this morning.

One other Michael-related tidbit from today - he was getting full at lunch and asked to be finished eating. I asked how much of his banana was left, to which he replied, "Oh about fee-corders." For those of you not fluent in Michael, that would be "three-quarters." And he was actually right! By pure coincidence I'm sure.

I saved the fee-corders of a banana for him to eat with his dinner.

Growing Up

2012-07-04T14:27:00.000-04:00

A couple of people commented (Hi, Swistle!) after the last post that Harper is suddenly looking quite a bit older. I think this is true. Actually I started having that feeling early in 2012, partly because she is turning eight this calendar year, and eight is an age I firmly remember being. (Incidentally, age 8 is the year I recieved the book The Ballet Shoes from my godmother. I've read it so many times it is held together with a rubber band.) Part of it is the adult teeth, for sure. And the rest is made up of all these things I'm watching her experience, the ways her friendships are developing, the choices she is starting to make for herself.

Then, a couple of days ago, she was feeling a little under the weather and walked into the kitchen looking like this:

(She reluctantly posed for the picture, she's so clearly over it...)

(Also? She seems unaware of the wedgie situation going on there. Kids!)

I don't know if this will make sense to many of you, but when she walked in with those pajama pants, tank top, flip flops, and messy ponytail I suddenly felt like I was getting a glimpse of my daughter during her exam week as a freshman in college.

(Did you pick out Exam Week Outfits*? You know a comfy combo perfect for alternating between sleep and study? No? Just my friends and I then? Moving on...)

Dear Time,

Move slower.

Love,
Kelsey

*And by "outfit" I mean either a t-shirt (long or short sleeved), a sweatshirt, and probably a choice between boxer shorts or flannel pajama bottoms, color coordination optional.

More of What We've Been Up To

2012-06-19T22:19:00.000-04:00

One of the things I love most in this world is the type of friendship where you can see a person after being separated by great degrees of time and distance and pick up just like you never left off... Last week I was lucky enough to have TWO such friends visit. Nan and Jen are friends from college - who I mostly got to know through campus ministry retreats and theatrical campus ministry productions.

"There were theatrical campus ministry productions?" you ask. Yes. Yes there were, and they were glorious!

Things were a little different from our college days, of course, mostly because of the presence of four children ages 7 under.

Michael loves babies so much you guys, it's kind of heartbreaking. But he also doesn't really know how to interact with them appropriately - we're working on it.

They look so sweet together - you'd never know they were tying each other up with jump ropes and attempting to eat the sunscreen stick... Kids!

The visit was last Tuesday. Then, on Wednesday, I got to go to a new independent used book store near here and catch my friend Jen doing a reading from her book!

The bookstore was full of Jen's local friends and there was a ton of good spirit in that room - it was like a reading and a reunion combined. There was also an adorable one-year-old who loved grapes and continued to demand them throughout the reading. AND a mama cat and her kitten (with six toes!) that was just as adorable as you'd imagine.

Some of us were hanging out after the reading and I noticed the mama cat was relaxing beneath a table, looking exceptionally chill. Just as I was thinking I'd never seen a non-sleeping animal look that relaxed I realized the kitten was nursing! I realize this sort of thing happens, in nature, all the time, but it was so unusual to see a nursing pet (well probably not for people who's pets have babies), I was awed. I wanted to take a photo but that seemed sort of disrespectful to the cat. What really struck me was how much the cat and kitten looked like I felt when I nursed, especially when Harper was a baby and she would nurse quietly in our bed in the morning, both of us drifting in and out of sleep.

When Jen finished signing books we went down the street to a little bar where a group of us sat outside on a gorgeous night, shared some drinks, and had a genuinely lovely night out. Ten years ago this kind of night out may have continued until 2 a.m. and last week we were all ready to head home by eleven. We've grown old!

The other big news is that Matt's sister - also known as Aunt Meaghan - moved back to Ohio! Woot! We are so excited to have her living nearby. Harper demonstrated her enthusiasm by having Meaghan complete timed "obstacle courses" on the swing set and sharing home- manicures.

Welcome home Meg!

And what have YOU been up to?

Making an Effort

2012-06-07T23:20:00.000-04:00

Okay, I really am going to make more of an effort to blog regularly this summer. Maybe to document the transition from family with a work-at-home-mom to family with a work-outside-the-home mom. Or maybe just so you don't miss stuff like this:

Harper decided that she and Michael were going to dress up and do a "gymnastics show" this morning. Apparently gymnasts wear stickers on their faces, ballet skirts, and a seven-year-old's version of "high heels." She even did her hair in a side pony tail.

Michael, along for the ride, happily donned one of Harper's bathing suits in lieu of a leotard.

"Don't worry Mom," Harper told me, "He's still got his underpants on."

As soon as I took this photo Harper said, "Can you put that on the blog? And Facebook?"

Last week, in the craziness that was finishing the school year, some burly men showed up and now THIS is in our backyard:

You are all invited over to play. Just wash your hands before you come if you had peanut butter for lunch.

The kids love it as much as you might imagine (a lot) and we've already played outside (at home, as opposed to at the park) more this summer than we did ALL of last summer. Investment win.

Let the Vacation Begin

2012-06-05T21:50:00.001-04:00

Well what did I expect when I let the kids go outside to play with Matt after dinner...

It wasn't even WARM out you guys (note Michael's long sleeves).

I didn't try to stop it, but I couldn't exactly bring myself condone it.

I'm making a note to keep Harper away from any kind of wet t-shirt contest down the road. It was all in pure child fun, believe me, but she was jumping and dancing around in that sprinkler like she was being video taped for some kind of MTV spring break special. (Remember those?) I had the worst kind of flash of her future.

Wrapping Up

2012-05-28T21:30:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe this is the last week of school for my kids! It feels like the end of an era because next year I will go back to school with them... Rather, I'll go back to the classroom.

Yup.

I got a teaching job for the fall.

Our summer is going to be short. School starts for me on August 13th (no students until the 20th though) and for my kids on August 14th.

We'll spend time in Wisconsin, Minnesota (just Matt and I), and Michigan this summer. There will be swimming, gymnastics, bowling (!), basketball, and misc. day camp. We're maaaaybe (I hope!) going to swing a weekend in St. Louis. On Wednesday a swing set is being professionally installed in our backyard. I'm taking two online classes to keep my teaching license current. I'll transition my Vice President/Volunteer Coordinator roles with the PTO to the new person and try to get a handle on co-President duties.

We're doing summer fast and furious this year.

Come on Summer! We're ready!

And you?

Where We've Been

2012-05-21T21:21:00.004-04:00

Well hello. How are you? This has been a whirlwind month and obviously a bad month for posting...

I'm thinking I need to put myself on some sort of schedule if I have any hope of all of continuing this blog. And I want to continue, even if no one is reading it. I guess I'm finding that, as the kids get older, living our lives is getting in the way of computer time. Which is mostly good.

I also had a job situation brewing which I wasn't really at liberty to discuss. I actually had a very brief post up about it briefly, which you only caught if you are using a feed reader or saw it on Facebook. It was too soon to discuss anything, which is why I went back and yanked it. More about all of that soon.

This past weekend was largely occupied with our first big-deal ballet recital. Involving costumes! And (reluctantly and minimally) make-up! And me watching lots of surprisingly helpful You Tube videos about how to make the required ballet bun. (I have to admit I was totally tickled when someone complimented Harper on her bun as we walked into the dressing area. I did an internal high-five.)

I know it is completely uncool to brag about our kids or admit how great we think they are, but, well, er, just LOOK at this child? There are moments when she totally amazes me and the poise and maturity she showed this weekend were just beyond.

Can you believe this kid? Can you believe she is mine? How is the gorgeous creature (of course I think she's gorgeous, being her mother) the same baby I held seven years ago? Not possible.

Way to go Harper! We're so proud of you.

P.S. Holy cow was the whole dance recital thing a pain in the rear! I'm thrilled we only have to do this ONCE a year. I mean, it was fun to see her all dolled up and part of me died a happy melty death watching her onstage - BUT do you know how long we were at the auditorium? Oh, about six and a half hours total for the weekend. For about ten to fifteen minutes on stage. At least she only danced in two of the three shows - it could have been worse!

Best Laid Plans

2012-04-30T13:20:00.001-04:00

As I type this I am sitting in a chair outside the room where Michael is taking gymnastics. "Gymnastics," being a fairly loose description of what goes on in the room! I'm in a little chair facing the window into the gym, netbook on my lap, watching four-year-olds do warm up stretching. In this moment I am very thankful for WiFi.

Saturday was our local March for Babies walk. Due to a whole host of out of our control circumstances instead of having a big group to walk with (we'd actually recruited people to our team this year!) it looked like I was going to be walking on my own. The weather was cool and rainy - feeling more like late February than late April. After one last look at the radar I decided it was going to give a dry enough window for Michael to come with me if he wanted - he did.

So Michael and I headed down to the park where we've walked before... I'm not going to lie. It was cold. And we totally opted for the one-mile "family" route, rather than walk the entire three miles. A lot of pieces fell a little flat this year: the weather was crummy, we didn't quite meet our fund-raising goal, we didn't do the long walk. It would be easy to feel discouraged about the whole experience.

But of course it was difficult to feel too discouraged when I had this guy to keep me company:

Do you see that I had to find the WINTER hat for him. The fact that we were there at all is some serious dedication, right? And the following picture is completely misleading, sure the sky was blue in that moment, but shortly after we got home it opened up and poured!

Even though I was sorry not to have our bigger team assembled (next year!), I was grateful to have Michael there with me. He was happy and proud to be walking at the March for Babies event, even if he didn't completely understand what it was. We walked holding hands (I was trying not to loose him in the crowd) and every so often he would lean over and kiss my hand saying, "I'm so happy to be on a walk with you Mommy!"

Me too bud.

*****
By the by... if you were intending to donate to our team and you just hadn't gotten around to it any donations made in the next couple of weeks will still count toward this year's total. Thanks!

Walk Time

2012-04-23T15:40:00.000-04:00

Last year around this time I was marveling at how our family and friends and internet peeps had showed up in a HUGE way to help us raise money for March of Dimes. The persistent begging I did had a lot to do with our success.

This year, I've hardly begged at all... I was working, the kids were sick, blah, blah, blah. And so here we are, mere days (5!) before this year's March for Babies. And there is a large empty spot on my fundraising tracker. The space between what we've raised and our goal.

Lots of people have already stepped up for us this year, but I'm reaching out to those of you who may not already have been bombarded by my email or Facebook requests this week. If you have even five dollars to spare, please consider helping us reach our goal.

If you weren't around or you want to refresh your memory about the dramatic-ish circumstances surrounding Michael's birth, head back to the February, March, and April archives from 2008.

Here is a photo of Michael, taken perhaps the day after he was born, when he weighed just a little over four pounds. He spent the first month of his life in the NICU and then was home with us for another month before I even reached his due date!

Look how big that paci is! In other words, look how tiny the baby is.

And here we are, four years later, and I can barely get a good picture of him these days because he is all little boy enthusiasm and will rarely hold still for a photograph! Almost all traces of his preemie days are long gone.

We are so incredibly grateful for our healthy boy. And it is in large part due to the work done by March of Dimes that our preemie was able to survive his early birth and is a thriving four-year-old now. And while we've come so far, as long as there are babies being born sick or too soon, there is still work to be done.

Please consider making a donation to our March for Babies team, every bit helps.

Oh, and if you'd like to send some prayers/good vibes for dry weather on Saturday, that's great too!

Thank you.

In Defense of Keeping Them Little

2012-04-19T16:19:00.000-04:00

A disclaimer, before I begin... When I write ANYTHING on this blog, I'm generally commenting on a situation as it applies to our family. If your family does x, y, or z differently, I don't necessarily mean that I disagree/disapprove of your choices, I'm only talking about what works for the people under this here roof. I think most of you know that, but just in case... I feel a couple of posts brewing that I feel might be difficult to write without inadvertently offending someone. We'll see.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a Facebook update from a local music venue, announcing that they'd added a concert by The Fresh Beat Band to their summer lineup. I'll admit my immediate reaction was totally hokey - I actually got choked up. Why? Because Harper LOVES The Fresh Beat Band and I knew she would lose her mind with excitement over the idea of seeing them in concert. Matt and I discussed it and decided to go ahead and buy a couple of tickets. Since there aren't really any gift giving occasions between now and the concert, we did tell Harper she was going to have to work this summer to earn her ticket. We'll have her do various jobs around the house and yard (dog duty if you know what I mean) because we aren't complete pushovers, and the tickets were not that cheap for a kiddie concert. Harper is nearly out of her mind with excitement - it was so much fun to show her the tickets.

Sometime recently I was looking at the Facebook page of the venue and I noticed that a parent of one of Harper's school friends had commented on the concert announcement saying she was so glad her daughter was out of that phase. Initially I had a moment of panic, wondering if we were going to end up at a concert primarily attended by toddlers. And it got me thinking. So what?

I don't think many people who know Harper would claim she is immature. But we have been pretty careful with the media influences in our home. I don't try to shelter the kids from the outside world and I am very frank in answering questions about difficult topics. Currently this pertains more to Harper than to Michael, he isn't asking those kids of difficult questions just yet.

My children rarely watch something that isn't preschool television. We do watch the occasional more mature movie, but only with pretty careful vetting and an awareness of our kids' particular sensitivities. I'm careful about what kind of music they listen to and we do have children's music in fairly heavy rotation. We rarely listen to the radio unless it is NPR in the car. They do listen to some adult music, but again I'm aware of the lyrics and pretty cautious.

Even when it comes to toys, we probably skew a little younger than the children actually are. Not in games and books necessarily, but certainly in terms of playthings. Both kids still love the Fisher Price Little People sets and Harper specifically asked for more furniture for her Loving Family Dollhouse for Christmas. Michael has some Little People superhero stuff, but none of the regular action figures yet. I'm not necessarily opposed to these in the long run, but I know his play will be increasingly violent with more adult looking figures and I don't see any reason to introduce him to that if he's not asking for it.

So yes, we're going to see The Fresh Beat Band. And we watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. And we listen to Laurie Berkner, Elizabeth Mitchell, and Justin Roberts. And there are still Little People underfoot. Oh, and when Harper had ballet pictures on Tuesday, I didn't even put any make up on her.

I think keeping some of these big kid influences at bay is good for my kids. And I have the luxury of doing so because my seven-year-old doesn't happen to have any older siblings. Will Michael be exposed to some things earlier than Harper was? Of course.

There's no Star Wars here, or Harry Potter (for the kids), or Transformers, or make up beyond chap stick, or pop to drink. I'm not saying never, I'm just saying not now. Because I am a killjoy. And because this works for us. And mostly because there is time. Lots and lots of time. For all of it.

Play Ball!

2012-04-05T12:00:00.000-04:00

It's opening day in these parts so I thought I would share a little blast from the past to celebrate...

This one is from about 1.5 years ago:

Four

2012-04-04T22:37:00.001-04:00

Dear Sweet Michael,

A couple of weeks ago we celebrated your fourth birthday. I'm writing your birthday letter late - there's not much I can say about that except welcome to being the second child. Let's not talk about your baby book...

It is unlikely a birthday will ever go by without my remembering what a very uncertain beginning you had in this world, or without recalling how tiny you were and how long it seemed to take you to do all the regular baby things like regulate your body temperature, or, you know, eat.

And here you are, a fairly robust four-year-old, weighing in at a mere ten times your birth weight. Without careful attention to your speech or your (considerable lack of) fine motor skills, I doubt anyone meeting you today would guess that you arrived in this world nine weeks early.

Some days you are a mystery to me, Michael. You can be so sweet and gentle, so loving and then all of a sudden your temper flares and you stamp your foot at me when I don't think Cheez-Its are a good lunch. You fight like crazy with your sister as you appear to have decided that you aren't willing to be bossed around any longer. And yet, as much as you can be tough with Harper, you crumble the instant someone reprimands you even a little bit.

You've made amazing strides in the last year, even in the last six months. So many things seems to be clicking along in your little brain. Just yesterday your preschool teacher told me you did great on an assessment that you couldn't complete at all in September. On Monday you jumped from a vault into the pit of foam squares at gymnastics. When you started, in the fall, it was all I could do to lower you in there and pry your fingers from my arms! These small things indicate huge changes in you and what you can do and are willing to do.

One of my favorite ways you've changed in the past year is your blossoming imagination. You love to play pretend and are constantly narrating little stories with your toys. Today you were hosting some kind of imaginary party and I heard you say to one of the guests, a pirate, I think, that you were going to check the ingredients to see if the party food was peanut-free. Then you told him you'd have to call his mother and see if he could eat it.

You are a joy to us Michael and I am trying to soak up all I can of you being little because every day I can see more clearly that you won't be little for long.

I love you.

Love,
Mama