Monday, April 28, 2008


There are a lot of factors to consider when you decide how many children you'd like to have. To be honest, before we had kids at all, Matt and I thought we'd like a bigger family, maybe three or four kids (go ahead and laugh). Being parents to Harper was different from anything we'd imagined in so many ways (I thought I'd be much better at this mom thing!) and some of our thinking started to shift about what a good size for our family might be. So we hemmed and hawed a bit about the right spacing/timing and number of children to have, ultimately deciding on at least one more. Enter Michael.

There is something both exciting and scary about adding another child to the family dynamic and I knew, in my heart of hearts, that part of the reason I wanted another child was to give Harper a sibling. I know they won't always get along perfectly, but I hope Michael and Harper become close as they grow and end up seeing each other as the blessings we know they are.

Just before this photo, Harper asked Michael to make a silly face.

Here Harper is enacting some kind of scene from The Lion King.

We'll have to work on her propping ability.

Harper is playing "This Little Piggy" with Michael's toes; this may be one of the sweetest things I've ever witnessed.

I have been asked a lot whether Harper is enjoying being a big sister. If she's upset about it, she's only taking it out on us, not on Michael. It is difficult for her right now, because adult attention is in short supply, but she really does love her brother.

On the few occasions we've all been in the car Harper will offer reports from the back seat about what Michael is doing. "His face looks like this!" she'll say, and then squish her eyes shut to show us.

When Michael cries, she'll lean over the pack n' play and say, "Shhh, buddy, don't cry, the big sister is here." She also likes to tell him, "It's okay sweetheart."

Before I settled in to pump (for the millionth time) the other day, I asked Harper if she wanted to bring some toys into the room. "That's okay Mom," she said, "I'll just watch Michael."

I still feel the weight of this adjustment and find myself hanging on by a thread at many points during the day, but watching Harper with her brother makes me feel like our family is exactly as it is supposed to be.


Emily said...

So sweet, that one. I love the stories of Harper with Michael, and you're right, seeing these little ones with their new siblings makes the hard times worth it.

And for what's it worth, I don't think you could be any better at this mom thing.

Mommy Daisy said...

That is so sweet. I'm glad to hear that Harper loves her new position as Big Sister. It sounds like she takes it rather seriously.

I've been thinking a lot about family dynamics lately, and it was great to read about your thought processes. I'll probably be posting about his topic soon.

Anonymous said...

from my experience with Max and Ben, it will take at least 6 months before Harper really adjusts to getting less attention from the adults. But some of it too has to do with the baby being able to interact...once they start to smile etc, Harper will almost see him as a toy too and then it gets much more enjoyable. I can't imagine having just one so I know how lucky we are that they can have each other...not everyone is as lucky as we are!

Love you,

Erin said...

I really love the last line of this post.

Also, one of my favorite parts of having two is that they are backseat buddies. If Emmett is all quiet back there, I always ask Cal if he's sleeping. It cracks me up because Cal leans forward, looks at Emmett real close and tells me, "Nope, ee's ah-WEEK!" Love it.

Pam said...

I'm watching you and Emily closely before I decide on baby number 2!
I love the stories of them together though - very sweet.

Swistle said...

Oh I totally agree! I LOVE the sibling thing!

Jess said...

Loved this post! And I had to "de-lurk" to tell you how freaking cute your kids are and how much I love their names!