The only reason I have enough energy or time to update this blog at all is that my mom arrived here Wednesday afternoon. Thank the Lord!!! Let's recap:
Michael comes home Tuesday evening. Matt is home and takes one of the overnight feedings.
Matt leaves for work Wednesday morning.
Nana picks Harper up and takes her to school. She also picks her up from school and takes her to lunch so I can take a little nap while Michael naps.
I feed Michael his 1:00 feeding.
Harper gets into bed for her nap.
I cuddle up to the pump. As soon as I start pumping both children start crying and the "loose lead" alarm on Michael's monitor goes off.
By the time my mom arrives I am basically in hysterics, having resigned myself to the impossibility of one person taking care of two children. Thank goodness I never had twins.
I am pondering ways to get my mother to stay here until Michael turns one. But I think she's leaving on Tuesday.
I have serious reservations about my ability to get anywhere on time, ever again.
Also in doubt:
-my ability to get dinner on the table
-my ability to shower
-my ever feeling rested again
-Harper getting any attention in the next few months
They make it look worth it, don't they?
*****
Back in November we planted a bunch (dozens) of bulbs that are just now starting to come up in the yard. Every day brings new blooms. Harper loves to update me on which ones have, in her words, "bloomed up." She also raises her arms in a circular motion above her head every time she talks about blooming. Today she told me, "Mom, that flower by the porch step bloomed up, it's all made!"
10 comments:
You are beautiful. Your children are beautiful. You make me cry--in a good way--every single time I read your posts.
I am having similar feelings of inadequacy today...and I have Jeff AND my mother here. How can 3 adults not keep up with 3 kids...one of which technically sleeps all the time.
Somehow it all gets better. The pumping has got to just suck away any free time you have. You are amazing to continue with it.
And they are so sweet...
Ok, well, you are less than a couple of days into the parenting of two kids, one of which needs extra care, so give yourself some GRACE. You can and will figure it out, but in the meantime, you DO need help. I'm so glad your mama is there, and that Michael is there too, home where he belongs...
I DID have twins and it really REALLY sucked, to be honest. But it was wonderful too. And we did it, and we were more confident because we did it.
You are on "survival mode" right now. It always helped me to think of it that way, then the pressure was off to do any of the extra stuff. Right now, you just have to get through each day, feeding and bathing the appropriate person, so that at the day's end, everyone can sleep with full tummies. That is all.
The rest (housework, going on outings etc) can wait awhile.
Love the pictures- Harper is positively BEAMING with that little brother of hers.
This is just part of the adjusting period. I'm sure you went through it when Harper was a newborn too. You'll soon fall into step and won't look back. They sure look like two very healthy, happy kids to me. I think you must be doing a great job. And I love all the pictures and can't wait to see more. Beautiful children!
Oh, dear, I kept thinking that the first few weeks of Eli's life, too (How do people do this?) and we didn't have prematurity issues to contend with, nor was I pumping round the clock. So I PROMISE it will be better. But this time IS hard, no way around it, so just take all the help you can get, sleep whenever possible, and be very patient with yourself and the kids.
Also: he is SO CUTE. So alert looking already!
It will get better, and easier. I promise. It might be a few months, but it will get better. And a few months might seem like a long time, but it's really not that long.
You just do what you need to do.
Preach it, sister!! I'm soooo on the same page with you right now. I'm flipping my lid because Brian goes back to work on Thursday. YIKES!!
BUT you are amazing. Absolutely incredible. Because you are not only taking care of 2 children (one who needs extra care), but still sending thoughtful gifts to friends who don't have half the struggles that you do right now. "Thanks" doesn't do it justice, Kels. You are beyond belief, and I really appreciate it.
Looking at Harper look at Michael is so adorable! And as for TWO children... I don't know how any of you all do it! Seriously. We can't keep up with one. But you must be extra tired, with the stress of the past month. But hopefully no sleep because of baby crying/chasing Harper will be better than no sleep because of worry? What am I saying-- no sleep STINKS and makes everything harder.
Love the flower comments... Colin sort of picked our entire garden.
I absolutely agree with MarieGreen. You will figure it out. It's not EASY, but it's also not twice as hard. And before you know it, you'll wake up and realize you can't remember what ONE was like. It's kinda cool that way. But it takes time to find your groove. You will find it. In the meantime, take all the help you can get and don't worry about next week. Or even tomorrow, if you can help it.
The photos are absolutely beautiful and touching and make me smile. LOVE them.
Oh, the photo of them looking at each other is just so beautiful!!!!! Oh, oh, oh! Wow!
You'll be fine. It's only been a few days. When your mom was there, you couldn't establish a 'you routine', so it's almost like you're starting from the beginning. In another week or so, you'll have the rhythm of how things are going to go, and you'll start to feel better.
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