Not in a Million Years

Warning: Semi-gross content!

Here's a little scenario I would never have imagined for myself. . .

I walk into the living room and my foot slips out from under me because something has made the floor slick. I look down and my immediate thoughts are, "Is that smashed banana or did Harper's diaper let some poop through when she was sitting on the floor?" Upon closer examination I realize it is surprise disgusting substance number three, a little bit of dog puke.

True story.

All I can say is thank God we got rid of the white carpeting.

(And for those of you wondering how banana, poop, or dog puke would have arrived on my floor without my noticing it before I stepped in it; get yourself a dog and a one-year-old to chase all day, you'll understand.)