Brothers and Sisters

Siblings: obscuring the lines between laughing and crying, playing and fighting, helping and hurting... since the beginning of time.


Right now Harper and Michael are "playing" in her room. I have learned in recent days that "playing" probably means she is telling him to be a pirate and they are jumping off their ship (her love seat) into the ocean (a nest of pillows and blankets and cushions piled on the floor). I hate this game, mostly because when it is lunch time and I ask them to clean up, there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth and protesting that Michael got most of it out but won't help!

BUT I am letting them do it because here what isn't happening right now:

1) No one (Michael) is biting anyone else (Harper).

2) No one is crying.

3) No one is screaming.

4) No one is claiming the other one has something the first one wants.

Now Harper knows I don't like the game they're playing. This is why I'd bet you a large sum of money that she has her door locked. And they are probably giggling and feeling like they are getting away with something.

I'm kind of old-school when it comes to kids and manners and respect and blah, blah, blah. I'm not easy on them, especially Harper. But I do think that kids need some space - to be left to fend for themselves in their play - to think that we don't know what they are up to. That's where play lives, really, in the spaces we allow them - in the quiet they have to fill themselves and in all the messy and unorthodox navigating they do on their own.

Plus, this kind of play keeps the temporary peace. I am generally shocked and appalled at how much my kids fight with each other. And I am extremely hesitant to break up those fights - I intervene if someone is genuinely getting (or about to get) hurt, of course - but I tend to let them be for fear they will never learn to work it out on their own if I don't.

I'm just starting to get a glimpse of a more peaceful coexistence - maybe it is just that Michael is finally old enough to play pretend in a way Harper appreciates, maybe it is his burgeoning language skills, maybe she has grown more patient. Whatever it is, these times when they are genuinely enjoying each others company are rare and I will, for now, let them continue whatever mischief they are brewing.

Signs of a Growing Girl

Is it just me or is it kind of difficult to believe that Harper is starting kindergarten in six days? Although lately it has been impossible to deny that she is growing up fast.

Back in March Harper began telling me that she had a loose tooth. For the record, Harper has been having imaginary loose teeth since she first understood the concept of the Tooth Fairy. Pre-kindergarten is pretty young to have loose teeth, and we'd been to the dentist and been told she probably wouldn't lose any teeth until she was at least six. This is my way of saying that I didn't believe her. Then, still in March, when we were all enjoying a round of the stomach flu, Harper woke up screaming one night. I thought she'd been sick in her bed, but she was upset because something was in her mouth - it turned out to be an adult tooth coming in behind her front baby teeth (on the bottom). Her tooth had been loose all along.

"You really do have a loose tooth!" I told her - which made her burst into tears. I'm pretty sure she was feverish at the time.

Then we were in the car, about an hour from home, after our Memorial Day trip to Wisconsin when she piped up from the back seat, "My tooth came out!"

Again, I did not believe her.

I know! What kind of mother am I? But sure enough, she'd pulled her tooth out and there it was in her hand.

Evidence:

(See how her other tooth was pretty much up already?)

I wish I'd taken the time to write about this when it happened, it felt so profound to me, such a concrete sign of her getting older. I cried and cried over that tooth.

Incidentally, I have it, and the one that came out a couple of weeks later (which she also pulled out herself, I was under the false impression that losing teeth would take some kind of intervention on our part). What do you guys do with baby teeth?

Here is a summer shot of her with both bottom front teeth missing...

As if the teeth weren't enough, we decided a significant haircut was in order before school started. So THIS happened last weekend:





I LOVE the way her haircut looks, but watching it happen was a little like getting punched in the stomach. She looked dramatically older to me in a matter of moments. It was completely unnerving. In reality, she wears it with the sides pulled back most days, which still looks cute, but doesn't age her quite as much. Phew!

Scatter

I walked into a toy with such force today that it split my left pinkie toenail. There was some impressive bleeding and have been many requests to see my "toe boo boo." It HURT. I'm amazed I didn't start spewing profanity.

*****

Last night at dinner Harper told Michael that nostrils were the door to his nose. Heee!

*****

Michael starts preschool in two weeks (from yesterday, actually) and Harper starts kindergarten in a little over two weeks. You guys, we've done near survived summer! Let's have a drink!

*****

I haven't really mentioned this much in this space, but I tried and tried to get a job for this school year. Nobody wants me! I'm going to volunteer in a school library for one morning a week. I'll sub occasionally. I may actually have a moment or two of free time. FOUR mornings a week there will be about an hour and a half when both my children will be at school.

*****

I'm really psyched to fly solo with Michael every Friday while Harper is at school. We don't get to do much of that.

*****

I don't talk on the phone much, truly, but nearly every time I pick up the phone (to answer or make a call) Michael howls, "Nooooo phooooonnn Mamaaaa!" Why?

*****

I'm officially the worst RSVP-er to children's parties, ever. Mostly this is because determining whether Harper can go to a party requires me to call and ask people I usually don't know very well rude questions about what they are serving and do they mind if we bring alternate food. I don't enjoy making those phone calls, despite the fact that our experiences so far have been 99.9% positive ones (knock on wood).

Michigan 2010

Smores!

Beach!

Dunes!

What did you do last week?

Safe Snacks for Kids with Food Allergies

A little while ago Swistle sent me an email saying that she would love to read a post about what to bring for a snack for kids with nut allergies. I have been thinking about this for weeks, figuring that it might be helpful for lots of people, and wondering how best to approach the subject.

After some hemming and hawing I decided to copy some of the information we give to Harper's teachers. Here is the information we share as a guideline for classroom snacks:

We will not allow Harper to eat food prepared in someone else’s home kitchen; the risk of cross-contamination is too great. (This extends to most of our relatives as well!)

We do not allow Harper to eat bakery products (cake, cookies, breads, etc.) prepared in store bakery sections or specialty bakeries (Cheryl & Co. in Town and Country, for example).

We do not allow Harper to eat food that is labeled in any of the following ways: may contain peanuts, processed on equipment that processes peanuts, processed in a facility that processes peanuts. (Sometimes this warning is directly below the ingredients statement and sometimes it is in another area of the packaging. All packages should be read thoroughly.)

Ice cream of any sort is usually not manufactured under conditions we consider “safe,” even though the labels rarely have cross-contamination warnings.

Any fresh fruits/vegetables need to be washed very carefully, many produce sections contain open bins of nuts and the “dust” from these nuts can contaminate the produce.

Extra care should be taken to examine labels of foods like crackers, cereal, cookies, cakes/cake mixes, muffins, bread, etc. Anything prepared in any type of bakery setting is at high risk for cross-contamination. I usually avoid purchasing products if I know the same company makes the same type of product in a peanut or peanut butter variety (i.e. Oreo makes a sandwich cookie w/ peanut butter filling).

Companies are required to list peanut when it is one of the ingredients in a food. They cannot hide peanut or peanut derived ingredients under the label “natural flavors”. This is a result of legislation that went into effect January of 2006.

Companies are not required to label for cross-contamination. Some companies choose to do so. There is always a risk of cross-contamination in a product that hasn’t been labeled as such. That’s why it is so important to be prepared to recognize the signs of a reaction and take immediate action. Some companies have better labeling practices than others. General Mills and Keebler are two companies with excellent labeling practices. When there is a choice between a Nabisco product and a comparable Keebler product, we prefer to use the Keebler product.

We never feed Harper a food item that is not labeled or has already been opened (I’m thinking of something like getting her jelly from a jelly jar in someone else’s house bc they may not have cleaned a knife between the peanut butter jar and the jelly – just wiping it off won’t get rid of the peanut protein.).

I triple check every label: I check in the store before I purchase a food item, I check at home when I unpack the item, and I check before I serve an item to Harper. More than once I’ve “caught” an unsafe item on the second or third look.

Sometimes a food which has previously been safe undergoes a manufacturing change and is no longer safe for Harper. This happened with Nestle chocolate chips, there used to be safe varieties and now every bag has a peanut warning on it. That’s why it is so important to check every time. It is also why I don’t recommend handing out a list of “safe snacks” to parents or teachers; it can lead to a false sense of security.

I am especially wary of anything baking related, especially chocolate items like chocolate chips, or items used to decorate candy and cookies. Even if the label looks okay I would likely call those companies to investigate their labeling practices. I am happy to do this for you w/ a few days notice!

A handful of companies come to mind when I think of who I trust when it comes to labeling: Hershey, Keebler, General Mills, and Quaker come right to mind.

Foods at high risk for cross contamination include chocolate, ice cream and other frozen desserts, sauces, dried fruit, granola, trail mix, and seeds. I am suspicious if I don’t see a warning on these types of foods and would likely call to check them out.

Animal feed/bird seed is a tricky area because the labeling laws are not clear when it comes to pet food – if there is a question this is another area I am happy to call and investigate.

*****

Of course not all of these would apply to everyone looking for safe snacks, I'm just too lazy to edit!

Here are some other things to consider:

1. Even among those with peanut allergies, every family has a different "comfort zone" and will likely have different ideas about what they consider safe. Plus some people have a combination of allergies. Harper has shown evidence of allergy to other legumes so we have to watch out for products which have flour from these sources (chickpea flour, for example). That is pretty unique to our family, but it is important for us because many products listed as being free of the top 8 allergens use these flours in place of wheat flour.

2. As I said in the above points, manufacturing processes can change, so I hesitate to list "safe" foods. But here are some things we fall back on for treats: Dum Dum lollipops, Smarties candies, Skittles, Hershey products when the label is safe, Keebler graham snacks, Rold Gold pretzels, string cheese, that's what comes to mind off the top of my head. There are several boxed brownie, cake, and cookie mixes we consider safe, but I would be uncomfortable with Harper eating them if were prepared in a kitchen that wasn't nut free.

3. Sometimes non-food treats are a better option. Young children like stickers, mini notebooks, fancy pencils, etc.

4. The number one piece of advice I would offer is to talk to the parents of the allergic child, or ask the teacher how the allergy should be dealt with. For us, for now, I usually prefer to just provide an alternate or comparable snack for Harper when someone is bringing a treat to share. I always bring a safe treat for the group when there is any type of classroom party.

Man, this post ended up being really long and maybe not that helpful. I have a lot of trouble being brief when it come to this allergy business. But I am also happy to answer questions - so feel free to ask!

I'm all for anything that helps make school safe for beautiful children like these:

Weekend Update

Good grief! I can't believe a post about the termite guy has been languishing here for over a week. Why didn't someone complain?

In no particular order, here are some things that have been keeping us busy:

1. We celebrated Matt's 31st birthday. His gifts included a couple of new games we can try out on vacation. I made ribs for dinner, and a homemade macaroni and cheese that should probably be outlawed. Seriously. It contained milk, evaporated milk, three kinds of cheese, and EGGS. So yes, it was a little rich.


2. Michael got a MUCH NEEDED haircut. He behaved beautifully and now he looks a little less like a feral child I picked up in the woods.

Before:


After:



3. We celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. (See floral evidence below, thanks Matt!). Eight years? What the heck? Have I even been out of high school for eight years? Uh, let's not think too hard about the answer to that question...


4. The AAU basketball team that Matt coaches took 7th place at their national tournament in Minnesota. I drove over from Wisconsin, leaving the kids with my parents, to watch their final two games. It was worth ten or so hours in the car to be there with Matt. This fall he's going to coach Harper's rec center team of five and six-year-olds - that should be entertaining!




5. Michael used the potty seat!


He's not actually ready to commit to potty training, but he is showing an interest so we're encouraging him to give it a go (hahaha). I think Harper first used her potty seat about ten months before she was even close to being fully trained. I guess you could say we take it slowly around here.

(Bonus flashback photo!)

So what have YOU been up to?

For Future Reference

Dear Terminex Man,

Thank you for coming and assuring us that there are no signs of termite activity in our home. I could have done without the stories of other inspections you've done recently which did turn up termite activity. In the future, might I also suggest you not tell a potentially arachnophobic customer that you'd recently found black widow spiders in not one, but two homes in her area? It might also be wise to refrain from further divulging that it isn't really the black widows but the brown recluse spiders that you worry about. After all, you've seen what they can do.

I appreciate your help on the termites, but save the insomnia inducing spider stories for back at the office, mkay?

Sincerely,

Your Reluctantly Grateful Customer

Unless You are My Clone This Will Probably Be Very Boring

"A home without books is a body without soul." - Cicero

"There are many little ways to enlarge your child's world. Love of books is the best of all." - Jacqueline Kennedy

"A house isn't a home until there is a bookshelf in every room." - Matt, making fun of me, when I eagerly accepted three new bookshelves from his workplace after they moved offices.

So. Way back in December I had what I thought would be a fun idea for a post... a bookshelf tour of our home. I walked around the day after Christmas taking photos of all the bookshelves in our house. And then I never posted them. Don't know why inspiration has hit me again but this time I'm going to do it. I realize that this may be of no interest to you whatsoever, but maybe someday the kids will get a kick out of it, so here I go:

I'm going to work from the basement, up through the living areas, into the bedrooms.

This is Matt's bookshelf in his basement office, it is one of the shelves we accepted from his workplace move. Not terribly exciting (because the others will fascinate you, I'm sure), but I've included it in the interest of full disclosure.

This is another bookshelf in the basement office, it was left here by the people who lived here before us! It holds some of my school binders, teacher workbook type things, the set of Little House Books that were mine and Shannon's growing up, books designated as holiday/seasonal that I rotate into a basket upstairs, and some science and social studies books that the kids aren't really old enough to be interested in yet.

Above is another basement bookshelf left behind by the previous owners. It contains chapter books from my own childhood as well as some I collected while I was teaching. There are a couple of dozen Nancy Drew Files there, as well as almost every Beverly Cleary book, books by L. M. Montgomery, Dick King-Smith, Roald Dahl, The Chronicles of Narnia, non-Baby Sitter Club books by Ann M. Martin, a few titles from a series called Freshman Year, and lots of other misc. books mostly acquired through Scholastic and Troll book orders.

This bookshelf was handed down from my friend MaryEllen. It contains an assortment of books I've read and loved (some Jane Green, Jennifer Weiner Katrina Kittle, Laurie Halse Anderson, the Traveling Pants and YaYas books) but there are also some random things on here, like my bin of tutoring materials (bottom shelf) and a baby names book.

This shelf is probably the most wonderful and most embarrassing because the three shelves of books that are open? Those are my Baby-Sitters Club books. I have all the regular and super special editions and the twelve "Friends Forever" books. I also have the first few mysteries, but I drew the line at collecting those. I had about half of these when I was sort of the age to read them and then I collected the rest in more recent years. Gotta love used books! And yes, I will be getting myself a copy of the newly-written BSC prequel.

On top of the BSC books are bins containing series for young readers: Henry and Mudge, Mr. Putter and Tabby, Amelia Bedelia, Frog and Toad, Franklin, Arthur, Nate the Great, A to Z Mysteries, The Magic Treehouse, and Poppleton.

This bookshelf has been mine since I was in grade school, it is in the family room of our house. It contains several hundred picture books I acquired while teaching elementary school. The bins on the bottom shelf hold easy reader books.

Remembering that these pictures were taken at holiday time, the basket w/ the red liner is full of our Christmas books. There are also Christmas books in the basket w/ the brown liner, but that is the basket that is always there and I rotate seasonal books in and out of it. The other baskets hold puzzles (always there) and Christmas movies (only there during the holidays).

This is a big, beautiful bookshelf which Matt's parents gave us when Matt moved into our first house (It had been in their house as Matt grew up). I love it and it fits perfectly on the wall between the living room windows and the dining room windows. It holds mostly Matt's books, our photo albums (top shelf), and a few miscellaneous items, including the huge American Heritage Dictionary I got for Christmas one year. The shelf that is covered with holiday decorations usually holds framed family photos.


This is in the "foyer" and is another of the book shelves we got from Matt's workplace. The basket on the bottom holds some of Michael's odd sized board books. There are also books on the second shelf. The top shelf is our children's music collection (I know it's almost as bad as the books!) and on the very top sits our Christmas CDs, seasonally, of course.

As you've seen before, here is the bookshelf in Michael's room. He's had a birthday since this picture was taken so his book collection has grown a bit.


This is the first of Harper's bookshelves made for her by her godfather. Uncle Joe made this one when Harper was just a baby. It used to hold her books, but she was outgrowing it - now it holds the containers for a handful of toys we keep in her room and has been replaced by...

This beautiful bookshelf! Also made by Uncle Joe. Her collection was thinned a bit when we passed the board books along to Michael, but she's not really hurting for books now, is she? I keep the kids' books in their own spaces.

This is the third bookshelf that we got from Matt's workplace. It is in our bedroom - I was so happy to have a bookshelf in our room! The books on this shelf are all mine, or books I've borrowed from my friend MaryEllen (whose collection outdoes even ours) and intend to read. Most of the books on the top shelf are things I have yet to read, but the bottom two selves hold quite an assortment, including my held-together-with-a-rubber-band copy of Ballet Shoes, one of my all time favorites.

So there you go, a bookshelf tour of our home. The shelves are pruned periodically and books donated or passed along in other ways. And of course new acquisitions are always welcome. It's a wonder we use the library isn't it? But, then again, we really can't own all the books. (Matt would probably say that it doesn't stop me from trying.)

P.S. I would like it if you did your own bookshelf pictures and shared them with me!

Home Again

We're back after several long drives and a week and a half away from home. There is too much to update tonight but I wanted to let everyone know we're safe and sound. And that our time in Wisconsin included an inflatable play land.


I know, Michael looks terrified in that picture, but as soon as he came down the slide, he'd climb off and shout, "Mo' gen!" (More again!)


Harper said it was like being in Fraggle Rock and I'm pretty sure that's a compliment.

How to Beat the Heat

The hot and humid weather has arrived! After yesterday morning's 4th of July festivities we decided to see how long the kids would be entertained by the kiddie pool (we actually don't have one of these at home). Turns out the answer is: a long time. We put the pool out around 10:30 a.m. and, besides one trip inside for the bathroom, Harper didn't come inside until 4:00 p.m, SEVEN HOURS LATER.

Michael didn't like to sit in the water, he mostly entertained himself by climbing into the pool, throwing the toys out onto the driveway, climbing out onto the driveway, and throwing the toys back into the pool. Repeat 387,000 times.

After a while my dad brought out some old paint brushes and the kids entertained themselves painting the driveway, and the neighbor's porch steps. Of course there was always more painting to be done because, as Harper would say, "It kept melting." (evaporating)

Michael eventually came in to eat lunch and take a nap, but not Harper.

She discovered that filling the plastic turtle with water gave it enough momentum to carry it down the slightly sloaped driveway. And then it could be chased!

This is how Harper avoided coming inside for lunch - she cooerced Grandpa into having a picnic with Kid Sister. Got to hand it to Grandpa for being such a good sport. Over 80 degrees and he didn't even get to sit in the shade.

Happy 4th

So we're staying with my parents in small town Wisconsin. Sussex has about 10,000 residents and a tiny little downtown area. My parents live just off of Main Street. I did a quick change after church this morning and we walked across a grassly lot to wait for the children's parade.

Harper, Michael, and Kid Sister (Shannon's doll from the 80's) were anxiously awaiting the parade.

Actually, Michael was a little nervous. Turns out he had little to fear, it was a small and mostly quiet parade. He did get hit in the head with a rogue piece of candy and shed a few tears.

The parade started with a veterans' group with flags and rifles. Rifles which they shot into the air right in front of us (!), fortunately we saw it coming and quickly covered the kids' ears. The flags were followed by an old fashioned fire truck and a million children with decorated bikes and scooters. The bikes, scooters, wagons, and kiddie cars were the bulk of the parade. Lots of children had decorated bike helmets which was cool and many people threw candy at us. The family sitting next to us was thrilled because our kids didn't pick up any of the candy (couldn't tell if it was safe for Harper).

The parade ended with an ambulance and a fire truck and then we walked across the street to play at the park behind the library. There are lots of great things about the city we live in, but this small town life has its perks.

******

If you've been voting for Matt's Pepsi Refresh project, please keep it up, if you haven't voted please consider registering! I hadn't realized that these projects are being funded by money Pepsi would have spent on Super Bowl ads, which I think is pretty cool.

July in Wisconsin

Apparently the heat and humidity are going to be setting in soon, but yesterday was just unbelieveably gorgeous here. It was sunny and lightly windy and maybe in the low 70's? We took the kids for a walk after dinner, about a mile to a little park down the street. It was lovely and there wasn't even too much complaining when it was time to leave. Harper started to whine a bit on the way home but I distracted her with math and spelling, which is kind of hilarious, no? We spent about 3/4 of the walk giving her addition problems to solve or spelling words for her to guess. She LIKES this. And while she had to slow down while figuring out what 7 plus 4 came out too, it was a fair trade not to listen to how tired she was and that she needed a break.

And then we saw not one, not two, but THREE hot air balloons toward the end of our walk. I didn't realize this, but Harper had never seen one in real life before so it was very exciting. It was also funny to point it out to Michael and see the expression on his face completely change when he actually spotted it. Finally, on the bike/walking trail behind my parents' place we saw a bunny. Everyone was really really happy. And Michael learned to say lawn mower (which sounds a lot like Elmo, "yaw mo"). Not bad for a summer day.

Yesterday afternoon I drove Matt to Madison, where he met up with his assistant coaches. They were continuing on to Rochester, MN where his 12 year old basketball team is competing at AAU Nationals. If things go well I may drive out there next week for the final games, we'll see. It's about five hours from here, so it isn't a small undertaking.

The drive between here and Madison (and between here and Minnesota) is so calming. Rolling hills, woodland, farms, and lakes. This time of year everything is still nice and green with patches of colorful wildflowers every so often, to remind you that we haven't jumped in and ruined all of the land just yet. There's so much space up here - our area of Ohio is significantly more urban than where I grew up and if I'm away too long I forget how much I miss that openness. It reminds me why we need to learn to camp as a family - probably the only way my kids will experience the kind of spaces I remember.

My parents have a wedding to attend tonight so the kids and I are going to hang out with my sister, and maybe some takeout pizza. After they are in bed I think Shannon is going to watch the 6th Harry Potter movie with me. I missed it in the theater and haven't been able to bring myself to watch it on my own, silly of me, but it feels like a movie I want to share with someone, you know? I love Harry Potter.

Hope you're having blue skies and light breezes where you are, and if not, may I suggest a rum and coke?

******
Please remember to go vote for Matt's Pepsi Refresh Project - link on the right!

Housekeeping

Hi guys - we've arrived in Wisconsin and are settled in for a week of driving the grandparents crazy. Right now the kids are jumping off the stairs into the living room yelling, "Super balloony babies!" Actually, Michael is just yelling, "Go!"

The kids were excellent on the long car ride, which might mean I have some bad car karma coming for our drive to St. Louis and then back to Ohio in about a week, but we'll survive.

Today I'll drive Matt to Madison where he'll meet up with other coaches heading to their AAU National Tournament in Rochester, MN. If the team does well I might hightail it to Rochester next week to see some their last games, we'll see. It's only an extra ten or so hours in the car...

As you know today is July 1st and that means it is the first day you can vote for Matt's project idea through the Pepsi Refresh Project. There is a widget on the right that will take you to the page to vote - please consider signing up and voting this month. The top ten projects get funded! I know the widget isn't super attractive, but those are the sacrifices I'm willing to make for my beloved.

I'll try to update this week while we're chillin' in the WI, especially since Matt won't be here. Happy July yo!