Oh, I'm really having trouble putting things into words this evening, but I am so frustrated and discouraged right now.
We've been meeting with a new early intervention specialist to work on some of Michael's delays - mostly dealing with speech. This is a good thing, important, something I am totally behind in theory. And I really like the woman we're working with. I don't know her very well yet but I think she is good at her job and knows what she's talking about. And I don't know if it is just bad timing or me being hormonal or if Thursday night isn't a good time to meet because we're all so tired by the end of the week, but I have just felt awful after the last couple of meetings and I cannot figure out why. I can't pinpoint any specific comment or interaction or any reason at all that I should feel badly after these sessions. It doesn't make any sense and yet...
I really, really want to be on board with what she is trying to help us do with/for Michael.
This summer we are going to make some adjustments since our schedule will be much more open. Maybe some of those changes will help. It is entirely possible that it's just Thursday night and I'm tired.
I'm so in love with my children, I am just thrilled with how far Michael has come, so maybe I find these sessions discouraging because it requires focusing on all the things that need improvement rather than just celebrating who he is:
It is also possible that I'm channeling icky feelings about other things going on in our lives, in the world, etc. into this one circumstance... I don't know. I'm just glad that it's almost bedtime.