Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A Year Ago, Part Two of ?

(Yes, I'm double posting today, the last one was long enough without adding this bit of history to it.)

February 10, 2008, was a Sunday. After the doctor's appointment I'd had the Friday before things hadn't gotten worse, but they hadn't improved either. By Sunday I was so anxious about the situation that I couldn't sleep. I finally got up out of bed and used the computer for a couple of hours until it was time to get ready for church.

I was looking back over my notebook and blog posts from this time last year and I wish I'd written more of the specifics about what was happening. I have specific memories of a handful of things, but so much of it is fuzzy. I remember emailing some recipes to a college friend that morning, I remember eating breakfast after church, and I remember the on-call doctor eventually confirming that yes, I probably should head to the hospital.

I don't remember if I packed any kind of overnight bag. I know I put the book I was reading (Object Lessons by Anna Quindlen), my notebook, and probably some Sudoku puzzles into my backpack - knowing I'd probably be waiting at the hospital for a while (ha!).

I think Matt was busy with basketball that day. I'm pretty sure Ann came over to watch Harper when I left for the hospital. I drove myself (it's only a couple of miles away). I was able to walk right up to labor and delivery and skip the emergency room - pregnant ladies get all the perks. It would be about six weeks before I'd drive my car again.

I know I got a room and a hospital gown and an IV and an ultrasound, but I don't recall much about any of those. The on-call doctor was amazingly kind and I think she did the ultrasound herself. I don't believe they found any conclusive reason for the bleeding I was having right away - my partial placental abruption was difficult to see.

I remember reading my book and trying to watch the pro-bowl to pass the time. I think Harper and Matt came by to see how I was doing or maybe bring me a couple of things once we realized I'd at least be spending the night.

I don't remember whether we knew, that first night, that I was definitely going to be on bed rest. I know we were told it was a possibility that the baby might come anytime.

I had my first steroid shot - which hurt, um, a lot - but was worth it, of course.

I have a very, very vivid memory of finally calling my parents, who were on vacation in California. They were at a bar with a couple they'd met and maybe golfed with, having drinks. Can you imagine the buzz kill my phone call was?

I started to calmly explain to my mom what had been happening and I could hear her getting upset over the phone. I knew if I could hear her freaking out then I would freak out, and I remember saying to her that she was going to have to stay calm or I would ask to talk to my dad instead. (In hindsight, there might have been a better way to handle that.) She remained calm and I explained what I could.

I was exhausted, but I'm not sure how I managed to sleep that night. Actually I think a nurse might have given me something to help me sleep. I don't think I had any idea yet about what we were really in for.


Chris said...

I am amazed at how much you do remember! I remember speaking to Matt when he called to tell me what was up, and what I was doing (laundry, of course).

I am really glad we know the end of this story :)

Frump / TDru said...

I could not believe that you emailed me recipes that morning (for the currently non-existent 101 cookbook ... coming soon, I promise!).

I am so happy that despite everything you went through, the outcome was a healthy little boy. (I loved the 11 month pictures of Michael!)

Thanks for the call yesterday -- we were actually out walking too, but I didn't hear the ring. We'll talk soon.

I love you so much!

Jen said...

Thanks for sharing these painful memories with us. I wish that I had written down everything that happened right after Emmaline's birth...maybe I should start now. There are some parts that I don't want to remember (hearing the words "Down syndrome", then being told she had a hole in her heart, then being told she couldn't hear). I really feel cheated out of my last birth experience. I do however want to remember the support from family and friends, the way she snuggled into my chest when I held her for the first time, and the feeling of joy when we were able to finally bring her home. After the traumatic beginning though, I wouldn't change a thing. She is perfect in every way and life would be unimaginable without her. Thanks again for sharing. It's nice to see how well things worked out over the past year.

samantha jo campen said...

Is it strange that reading this is making me feel anxious and angry? For YOU? Because I obviously know what you went through. And hearing it again from you just brings back that month--me being on bedrest too, checking in with you, worrying about you and Michael.

When will be finally get over it? Ever? I honestly hope so because I'd like to be at peace with the whole thing, as I know you would too.