First a disclaimer:
I am thrilled to be pregnant. Seriously. We wanted to have another baby and now we have a baby boy on the way and we'll be a family of four and I honestly think all of that is wonderful.
So having said that, I will reiterate that this pregnancy has come with a much larger bunch of crazy-inducing hormones that the first one did. Especially in the last couple of weeks I feel alternately weepy and hostile. What a fun combination! I know I have not been an easy person to live with, for Matt or Harper, and I'm not even crazy in any of the good second trimester ways (no frantic nesting here, just feeling frustrated with myself that I'm not doing it). I feel anxious and overwhelmed by all we have to do to get bedrooms switched and various other household areas in order before Littlest arrives, and yet I am about zero percent motivated to actually get up and do anything about them. Not to mention the laundry, cooking, cleaning up, dusting, vacuuming, etc. that I am running about seventeen steps behind on at any giving moment.
Sigh.
So.
Posting has been light because wouldn't it get old to hear that paragraph over and over and over again each day?
It is not that I'm crying or fuming during every single moment of my life, there are certainly days (hours/minutes) that are better than others.
On Saturday my diploma arrived in the mail, making me realize that I failed to ever appropriately celebrate here. Yay!!! I finished graduate school!
This Friday one of my dearest friends, Erin, will be headed here for a visit. I am so blessed to say that Erin has known and loved me long enough that it won't even matter to her that I am completely off my rocker right now. And it will be fun to watch Harper and Calum play together.
So we're alive over here, moving ahead, and there will be one more of us in a little less than four months. It could be worse.
4 comments:
We all go through times like this when we feel a little crazy and disoriented. I think big life changes like this affect us anyway, then you add the pregnancy hormones and WHAM. Anyway, you had a positive outlook, and things will cheer up soon. Have a great visit with Erin. It's good that you have a wonderful friend like her.
Yay, you graduated!
Ug, I know that feeling! You put it so well: "no frantic nesting here, just feeling frustrated with myself that I'm not doing it." I finally gave up and baked muffins and bought a car seat and didn't do much else!
Oh, I am so with you. But I've been nesting this time around...except it isn't productive nesting. It's like, "OH MY GOD...THE SILVERWARE DRAWER IS DISGUSTING. MUST. CLEAN. NOW." But we still need to move bedrooms around, buy a new car that will actually fit all of my children in it come April, etc etc. Yea, my nesting is REAL productive. This baby will be born, and I'll be like, CRAP, the guest bed doesn't actually fit in Lily's room like we'd planned. Perhaps we should've actually measured it. And, CRAP, I can't fit 3 carseats in my Escape...which I knew...but somehow didn't get around to getting a new car anyway.
-sigh- Don't you wish we lived closer so we could be crazy together?
Have fun with Erin!
I started really freaking out after Christmas, too. I think it was like you said, "I'll get to it after the holidays" and then the holidays came and went and all the sudden I have 12 weeks left until this baby is born! I feel overwhelmed with all that must be done, but I know it will, somehow, and knowing you, yours will too. But it doesn't make it any easier when it's all looming overhead! I hope we can get together and vent soon!
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