Thursday, February 13, 2014

Sleeping Over

We had a major milestone in our house last weekend - Harper's first away from home sleepover. 

Nine years old isn't really all that young to go to a sleepover, and we've had other children sleep at our house a handful of times. I'm sure any parent feels some anxiety when a child spends the night away from home. For us, the anxiety is ratcheted up a bit because it means handing responsibility for Harper's food allergies over to someone else. 

We've had lots of practice trusting other adults with Harper's safety, but mostly in the public school setting where we actually have a legal document that details steps to be taken and procedures to follow. We have also had babysitters responsible for Harper, but in our nut free home.

It's rare that Harper even goes to play for a couple of hours at another family's house without her father or I with her. So how did we end up sending her away overnight?

This fall Harper started dancing with the competitive group at her studio. We leave tomorrow, heading to Pittsburgh, for the first competition of their season. The parents of another competitor wanted to have all the girls over to spend the night together and bond a bit before our trip. 

If it hadn't been for this specific situation, I think we would have continued to pass on sleepovers for another couple of years. I really didn't want to say no to her attending and have her be the only girl to miss out on the fun. I replied to the invitation and inquired whether the mom was willing to take on the responsibility of managing Harper's allergy for the night.

As it turns out, another child in that family is very close friends with someone who has severe food allergies. The mother already knew how to use an EpiPen and was totally willing to work with me in terms of handling the food that would be available at the party. She was even willing to let me spend the night as well! (I passed.) It helped that they only live a few minutes from us and the hospital was in between our houses.

Of course Harper had no hesitation about being with her friends!

Here are a few photos of the evening that I borrowed from Facebook - I wasn't sure how the other parents would feel about pictures on the blog, so I covered most of the faces:

They made posters to put on their hotel room doors.

No drama here...

All's well that ends well - Harper had a great time at the party and I even managed to get a little bit of sleep. I know that she is getting to an age where she won't always want her parents with her at every event. She's learning how to be more responsible for her allergy and we are learning to hand over a little more trust and responsibility. 

One step at a time!

I am so grateful for this parent - and for all the caring, supportive adults and children we've encountered - who was willing to go the extra mile to make this routine childhood experience possible for Harper. It means more than she probably realizes.


Emily said...

Wow, very cool! I'm glad a situation came up that was a good one for a first sleepover. Sleepovers have come up several times for Katy and I have several anxieties about them (and we don't even have the allergy issues), so up to this point we have passed, but it's getting harder and harder because Katy is aware of being the "only" one not going. So I'm glad to hear of Harper's great experience. We will get there someday, too.

Nowheymama said...

Yay! I'm so happy for you both.

Heather said...

I'm glad all went well! I'm sure it was nerve-wracking for you and I'm impressed you slept at all!

CARRIE said...

Harper looks so grown-up in those pics (even more so than in the ones with false eyelashes from competition....yes, I'm reading out of order).

It is hard to let go in general, so you are all kinds of brave given her allergies. Go you!!