Monday, February 06, 2012

Waffling

One of my least favorite things about myself is that I sometimes have trouble keeping momentum behind things I really would like to do regularly. This blog, for example, or exercise, or other writing, or mailing birthday cards on time... there are others. I often feel like I can only muster enthusiasm for one "project" at a time and everything else gets stripped down to bare bones and barely tended. I really should add deep cleaning the house to that list but this blog, exercise, and writing - those are my big three right now. Those are things I need to regularly give time to in order to be happiest, to do the most justice to myself, and I can't seem to fit all three at once.

So I'm frustrated with myself. And frustrated with this space. I mentally compose lots of blog posts as I navigate through my day and by the time I sit down to type they are like balloons slowly losing air. I start writing and you get this!

Harper woke up this morning feeling sick. She's not a leap joyfully out of bed first thing in the morning type of person usually, but she was especially slow and terribly persistent in her protests today. So I told her she could stay home, but she'd have to rest in bed, not lounge on the couch watching movies. (You have to have tangible symptoms - vomit, fever, strep looking throat - to earn a movies all day pass.) She still wanted to stay home. We dropped Michael off at school, Harper went back to bed, and I tried to get some PTO business taken care of.

Around 10 she came to me and said she was feeling better. She had no fever so I agreed to take her in to school. When I picked her up at the end of the day, however, she was back to feeling crummy. By dinner time she actually did have a fever (oops on the taking her to school). So now she's out for tomorrow for sure.

Life has felt a little like Harper's day lately. Not terrible, but a lot of stopping and starting. Shifts in momentum, not always in the direction I want.

Even though we haven't had much winter to speak of this winter, it is still managing to feel like February. Do you know what I mean?

ANYWAY - I don't want to let my blah mood detract from a place I really need to put my energy right now, fundraising for March of Dimes. Sometime in the next few days I'll write more about why this is so important to our family, but for now I will take a moment to direct your attention to the badge on the right - please consider donating or signing up to walk with us this year!

I had the badge up a few days ago but it wasn't working properly - brain fog. It's all good now, click away!

9 comments:

CARRIE said...

I do that too sometimes. I'll have all these ideas that sound really good for blogging until I'm sitting at the computer. Then....not so much. And sometimes I feel like my blog is nothing but a big gripe session, but oh well. That is part of what it's for, I guess.

Katharine said...

I am there with you, absolutely. Momentum is SO tricky. And I love the thing you said about February. YES. It feels like February for sure.

Anyway. Just wanted to say hi and maybe someday I'll post at my blog again too!

Pam said...

Definitely feels like February and I thought of something earth-shatteringly funny this morning at work for my blog and now it's gone. Buried in my befuddled brain. I love reading your blog even when you do waffle, so don't worry. :-)

bluedaisy said...

I completely understand what you mean- about too many projects, about momentum and about February. And I sincerely hope Harper is feeling better soon!

Christina said...

I'm in the same boat, too, Kelsey! And based on the comments of other people, we are not alone! Safety in numbers, although I can still appreciate your frustration. I told Tim the other day that I was going to get an old dictaphone to help with my deflating blog posts! Sorry to hear about Harper...I hope it stays contained to her.

Giselle said...

I'm with ya sister. I've been thinking I need another nablapomo whatever in March. We should make our own...

Jill said...

I understand what you mean about February, and about getting things done. I feel like I'm the only person that basically does laundry and dishes and everything else goes to heck. nice to know that it's not just me. I've got baby blues and mom guilt all tied up in there with SAD (although I've never been diagnosed, I HATE winter and am depressed most of the time)... so it's not a good time for me. Not to mention being afraid of driving again, so I'm cooped up all the time even when it is nice out.

Swistle said...

I feel that, too. And when I'm feeling blah, I feel like I can barely handle ONE thing.

Marcella said...

Me too. I just wrote a lame post about balance last week. I'm having the same trouble finding time to fit things in and something always falls out the bottom and gets a craptastic job if it is done.

And then you reminded me of the MOD. I used to do fund raising for them (for the same reasons as you do) but that became one of those things I forced myself to say "No" to. I have to do that more often so I'm not totally bogged down with life and never get antyhing done.

I feel ya!