Friday, October 07, 2011

Friday Morning

I'll remember this, I think, like a marble in a jar, and have it to take out and hold when he is grown and surly and bristles at my touch. I will have this perfect autumn morning, sitting on a park bench, watching him battle monsters with a stick. When the beasts are vanquished he crunches through dried leaves, pin-balling from one slide to the next, then pushes imaginary friends on playground swings until they are all in motion. Swinging ghost children that I will recall when my own babies are in far away places. He talks to a cast of characters, not the least bit bothered by the absence of other children.

I will remember his brown shorts and the light blue and gray jacket he wears because there is a chill in the September morning air. He is Christopher Robin, this park his Hundred Acre Wood, and I can sit, watching, a little removed, because he is a big boy now and doesn't need a shadow to keep him from plummeting from the high places.

I will remember the sounds of the squirrels and the wind in the trees. The surprising volume of the falling leaves hitting the ground, the specific thud of acorns. I will remember the golden quality of the light, the type of light that makes me feel like I am living in a movie flashback, all colors softened.

I will remember this contentment and feeling happy in this moment. I will remember this peace.

I will remember this, I think, but even as I think it I know it isn't true. It will float away like so many other memories of their childhoods. So I will write it down. I will put a pin in the map of our lives.

We were here.

7 comments:

bluedaisy said...

Oh Kelsey! This is so beautiful, so lovely. A perfect memory preserved. Because you're right- the little moments (that are so precious) fade away over time. But thanks to the gift of writing, we can save these moments and share them with our children whenever we want. I happened to read over some old posts of my own last night, marveling at the things I made note of...and thankful that I did. Writing makes it possible to fully appreciate the moment AND the memory. This just fit right into my heart today :)

Erin said...

Amazing, my dear. Captured perfectly.

I miss you.

Val said...

Beautiful. And just what I always mean to do, and then I don't. I mean to write it down. I do. And then...life. You know?

Maybe I will renew my attempts, tonight.

Chris said...

So smart, so YOU, to capture it just when you had the moment. By doing that, you put the whole essence into the post. Awesome! Glad you enjoyed the morning. I almost called you to see about getting together, but you would have missed all that!

CARRIE said...

This makes me yearn to keep them little forever, but that would be impossible and, if it weren't impossible completely selfish. Our children are only borrowed.

Anonymous said...

Again, i have tears when i'm reading this at work! Your writing is beautiful Kels and I'm so proud of your gift. Thanks for sharing it with us!
I love you,
Goobs

Jenn said...

lovely kels. beautiful stated and preserved.