Two Weeks Later

Summer camp, in particular Camp Minikani in Hubertus, WI, played a huge role in my childhood/young adulthood. Outside of my family, camp was the primary influence in my adolescent years. It is no exaggeration to say that attending (and eventually working at) camp was life-changing for me. Attending summer camp has always been a gift I have been eager to give my children.

This year marked Harper's third summer at the camp of my childhood. When she was 10 she attended a week of day camp. Last year, at 11, she attended one week of overnight camp. This year she went overnight for two full weeks. We pick her up tomorrow and I am jumping out of my skin.

Outside her two-week summer home.

I am 99% not worried about Harper at camp. My 1% of concern comes from the fact that it is not a completely nut-free environment, though it's as close as just about any other public place she frequents; and a little from the fact that girls can be mean. Since we drive from Ohio for Harper to attend camp in Wisconsin, she does not attend with any of her friends from school or dance. Now you would be hard-pressed to find anyone who is more of a friendship-building expert than a well-trained camp counselor, which Minikani has in abundance. Yet I also know that, despite the best efforts of caring counselors, there are sometimes kids who just don't connect with other kids. Harper is not usually that child, but you never know. 

Two weeks is a long time to not know what your child is doing or how she/he is feeling. Matt received two brief notes from Harper. In the second note she said she cried when the one-week campers left (including a girl she became friends with last summer) and that she missed us, but was excited for the next week of camp. She's probably fine. She's probably better than fine. But, ugh, the line about crying when her friends left made my heart hurt for her. I really hope she's also made some friends in her cabin - all of them are staying for both weeks. 

Tomorrow morning Michael and I will pick her up and I'll get to hear all about it. Maybe camp won't turn out to be the magical place for her that it was for me and that will be ok. But I can't help but hope that she's had a great two weeks and has been too busy having fun to write and tell me about it.

Perhaps You've Seen It?

I saw an image on Facebook the other day that I want to share, but now, of course, I cannot find it. I can find things which are close to it, but not enough to satisfy me. At any rate I'm going to attempt to recreate the wording for you...

Motherhood:

❒ clean house

❒ happy kids

❒ exercise

❒ strong marriage

❒ strong friendships

❒ well-rested

❒ healthy/homemade meals

❒ sanity

(pick two)

If I were personalizing the list for myself I would add time to write, time to read, and promptly answering texts/emails to the list and still only be able to pick two. Sure, it's a bit of an exaggeration, but it is the best way I've seen recently to describe what life feels like right now. 

Internet Things That Have Made Me Smile

This is a fairly random assortment of items, but here we go:

• I stumbled upon a "kitchen hack" that I have found particularly useful. I make several chicken dishes that require me to either chop up or shred cooked chicken breast. Now shredding chicken is not that difficult, but I read that you could use a hand mixer to shred chicken and it works! No more burning my fingers trying to do it with my hands or messing around with forks. (Ok, that sounded like a bad infomercial, but I truly disliked the job of shredding chicken, and I do it often.) I like the pieces of shredded chicken to be small and the hand mixer does that very well. There are usually one or two chunks that I end up pulling apart as I'm emptying the bowl but overall it is very easy. And it's been a fun way to psych out the kids who think I'm baking and then realize the mixing bowl is full of chicken. 

• When I was a child, one of the best parts of being home sick from school was getting to watch game shows. I still kind of love them and I get all choked up when people win. It seriously makes me cry, happy tears of course. One of my current favorites is Celebrity Name Game - locally it's on in the morning so I only catch it when we have time off school. If you are in a bad mood, I suggest getting online and watching clips of people winning this show. Instant mood lift.

• If you are looking to punish the back/knees of someone you know who has small children in his/her life, have I got a product for you! You will think this is a joke, but it is not... you can procure a saddle designed to be strapped to an adult, making it easier for a child to ride said adult like a pony. Don't believe me? Check out the Pony Up Daddy, because who wouldn't love a daddy saddle?

For Michael, At Nine

Dear Michael,

I just tucked your nine-year-old self into bed. As I turned off your overhead light and went to switch on your radio (you listen to game broadcasts, or sports talk radio at night) you asked me to wait a minute. Then you said, "Will you please sing Happy Birthday to me one last time?"

Of course I obliged. And I sang it slowly - drawing out that tender moment. I know you like the way I sing. I also know you're likely to outgrow that opinion soon. So, for now, I will sing to you anytime you want.

Despite the fact that your birthday fell on a Thursday, you managed to have a pretty great day. "Best birthday ever!" you said, more than once. Your day began with a giant Rice Krispie treat for breakfast. It was cut to resemble a slice of cake. I put a candle in it and we sang to you around the kitchen table at 6:45 this morning. Not a bad way to begin your day.

As you and Harper get older, I find it a little more difficult to write these birthday notes. I still want to celebrate the person you are, but I also find myself a little sad about how quickly it's all happening. At dinner tonight Daddy kept showing me old photos of you on his phone - I had to make him stop before I drowned my food in a puddle of tears.

Don't go so fast.

There are two things I've noticed recently that I've sort of saved up to comment on, on this birthday. You are not perfectly behaved, far from it, but you have such a gentle spirit and such a kind heart. As you get older it only become easier for me to see this side of you. I offer you a couple of examples:

• Our dog, Rebound, is getting very old. He'll be 14 in April. Some days you decide to leave your precious "blankie", the one Auntie M made for you when you were born, on the living room floor - just so Rebound can rest on it when we're all gone during the day. And he does! More than once we've come home and he's been happily curled up, sleeping on your offering. 

• Every morning we walk down the sidewalk to your bus stop. This is the first year you've ridden the bus, so everything about that has been a new experience. There is a kindergartner, who lives on the next street over, who is also at your bus stop. On the first day she rode the bus, you offered to sit with her (such a gentleman!) and then took it like a champ when she turned you down. To be fair, she's half your size, so that offer may have been a little intimidating. Recently I realized that no matter where we are standing, no matter what the weather is like, you always, ALWAYS wait for the little girl to get on the bus first. Sometimes you are closer to where it stops, sometimes she needs an extra moment to say goodbye to her mom, but you never jump ahead. I know that I never told you that you should let her get on the bus first, maybe Daddy did, at the beginning of the year? I just know that it warms my heart a little each morning to see that you wait for her. 

You have an instinct to look out for others, Michael, and it is one of my favorite things about you.

Nine is a great age and I'm looking forward to all that this year has in store for you. I love you Michael. Happy birthday.

Love always,
Mom

A Tale of Two Photos

Recently one of my internet friends, Heather, posted a couple of pictures on Facebook... one was a shot of a happy couple on vacation: the second, wider, shot showed the same happy couple, but also their boys who were tussling a few feet away. It made me smile because we all do that, right? If you have ever posted on social media it's likely you've cropped something or used a filter that makes your dirty floor less obvious or adjusted the lighting to minimize the blemishes on your selfie... I appreciated her honesty.

I can't say that I fault anyone for putting her best foot forward, publicly. We do that in a hundred different ways on a daily basis. We care about the impression we make. It's the same kind of motivation that keeps me from showing up to work in sweatpants. Except on pajama day, I'm ALL IN on pajama day...

Last night I had a small melancholy moment in my inner dialog. It was only Michael and I for dinner - Matt was running a basketball tryout and Tuesdays are one of the nights Harper eats at the dance studio since she's there 4:45 - 8:15. We have several nights on the schedule this week that timing dictates we grab dinner on the go, so I cooked a decent meal, even though there were only two of us. Dinner was rice, green beans, and lemon garlic chicken. I only prepared three pieces of chicken: one for Michael, one for myself, and one for lunch leftovers. Only making three meant that I could use my small dish and I had a mental flicker of the future when I'd someday only be cooking for Matt and myself again. For some reason I decided to document the small dish:

It's not a professional food photo, by any stretch, but it doesn't look bad right? You can probably picture Michael and I sitting down to a nice dinner together. 

What you can't see in that first photo was that, since only two of us were eating, I didn't bother to clear the previous day's Costco haul of batteries and light bulbs from the table. The second photo also gives away the fact that Michael won't eat rice without a sprinkle of shredded cheese on top and we just plopped the bag right down on the table. In fact the only thing that was in a nice dish was the chicken - and even that was the dish I baked it in and not a platter or something. 

I don't mean to get preachy, but it occurred to me that there are probably many moments in life when what we observe of others presents only a small part of the bigger picture they are dealing with. It's not a bad thing to keep in mind, the fact that there's almost always something else outside the frame. 

Coincidence?

This past weekend, as I was running some errands, I caught a few moments of NPR's This American Life. The show was full of people's stories about coincidences and, even though I only heard a portion of the show, it made me think of coincidence in my own life and it reminded me of a strange thing I hadn't thought about in many years...

In early 2000 (there's evidence of the date below) I had just graduated from college and was living in Wisconsin, spending my days substitute teaching. I had a decent amount of free time on my hands. I don't recall how I came across the website, but I ended up online, answering some questions, getting a prediction of the date I'd be married by. 

I had not moved back to Ohio yet, did not know I was going to do so, and had not met Matt. I have no recollection of what kinds of questions were asked. But when I got my "results" I decided to print them and save them. I tucked them away in a drawer or notebook and promptly forgot about them. Below is the paper with my results printed on it:

I don't recall exactly when I found that piece of paper again. You can see that I'd printed it on February 9, 2000. The date it said I'd be married by? Well that turned out to be my actual wedding day.

Reentry, Again

As often happens after participating in National Blog Posting Month, I reach the end of November and I am done with all the words. Then the holidays happen and I come up for air and realize that January is almost over.

I don't recall whether I already mentioned this in the blog or not, but, back in October, I joined the editorial board of Literary Mama. Taking on that new (volunteer) role has provided a good challenge. I am still working on seamlessly (ha!) integrating those tasks into my daily routines. Fortunately I have patient co-editor who is walking me through the steps.

I'll be writing more soon, but in the meantime please do check out the new issue of Literary Mama. While you're there you can subscribe to Literary Mama blog posts, subscribe to the newsletter, or follow/friend us on Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, or Pinterest!

Winner Winner...

...chicken dinner!

Somewhere down the road I owe this space three decent blog posts to make up for these last three sad ones for the end of NaBloPoMo. I have been really scrambling the last three days to make up for all the time I didn't spend writing while we were in Florida. I had to write about 10,000 words today to meet the 50,000 word goal by the time National Novel Writing Month ended and I did it! It was insane and I spent every free moment typing away.

The turn my story took at the end means that it isn't actually finished. The whole thing is incredibly flawed but it is there. Maybe I will pick it up again and finish the story or maybe not, but it always feels good to set a goal and reach it.

Home Stretch, Part II

I appear to have brought a cold home from vacation. This is not necessarily the type of souvenir I like to have to remember my travels by. I am feeling both cranky and whiny tonight, which is not a great combination for accomplishing anything.

The good news is, it is the time of year for listening to Christmas music - an effective mood-booster. The Piano Guys, A Family Christmas, is my album of choice at the moment, but there are so many good ones to choose from. What are your favorites?

Home Stretch

I'm a little under-motivated for blog posting today. I think nine days away is finally catching up with me and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the Christmas prep that now needs to be done! Only two more days in National Blog Posting Month and in National Novel Writing Month - I could use a little boost to get both done, but what I really want is to curl up and go to sleep.

Draft Day #4 'Tis Better to Give Than Receive

Ah, the final draft day post. And this brings me to the end of the random drafts I had sitting in Blogger. I think I saved the best for last!

When Harper was in kindergarten we decided to throw a big birthday party for her and invite the whole kindergarten class. It just so happens that good family friends of ours have a son whose birthday is about two weeks before Harper's and they were in the same kindergarten class. We decided to combine forces and throw a big party at the local rec center. We spent about an hour with snacks and games in a large multi-purpose room and then went swimming.

The only hang-up I had about having such a large party was that Harper really did not need 30 birthday gifts. We talked with the kids and they agreed to forego gifts in order to have a big party with all their friends. Instead of gifts for the birthday boy and girl we collected items for Toys for Tots.

What I found in my drafts were pictures of the day the children dropped the toys off at the collection barrel in our library:

Road Weary

Earlier today I read a friend's Facebook post - she was in the car with a crying baby on the way home from visiting out of town family. We drove many a mile with a screaming child in an infant seat, so I really empathized with her. A little later she posted a picture of the child, then fast asleep. So all's well that ends well. I had a fleeting moment of thankfulness that we were past that stage of life.

We should have moved beyond screaming tantrums in the car, but Michael, our child of routine, has spent the last two days behaving as if he fell right from the pages of The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Vacation. After horrendous traffic nearly the entire stretch between Orlando and Atlanta, we've finally stopped for the evening near Knoxville, Tennessee. Michael is already crashed in the hotel bed, but he spent the last hour of the drive maniacally tormenting everyone in the car. He was also up, laughing hysterically, in the middle of the night last night and refused to be still and try to fall back asleep. He's thrown a fit today about choosing a bed, car snacks, dinner, where his headphones were, and how Harper's looked at him. It's a wonder we didn't toss him out of the car on I-75.

It probably has to do with his being tired, having had more snacks and less nutritionally sound meals than his body is used to, and the disappointment of our vacation coming to an end. He gets into these moods and rants that are almost impossible to snap him out of. He becomes completely unreasonable and the rest of us just have to hang on and try to survive Hurricane Michael. I sincerely hope this is something he grows out of as he gets older, although at this point I'm just hoping tomorrow is a little easier than today. We've got a good four hours of road time left...

Flashback Friday #4

I thought it would be fun, for the last Flashback Friday of this blog posting month, to flashback to the last time we were at Disney with both kids. Harper was about to turn 7 and Michael was about 3-and-a-half. Michael was probably a little on the young side for what I would consider an ideal Disney experience, especially since we had a stroller with us. The upside of the stroller was that we had all that extra space for storing whatever stuff we were schlepping around the parks.

One of my favorite things about this particular trip was that Michael told every single character we met that we were staying in a condo. It was adorable. I looked back in the blog to see if I'd written much about our trip or posted pictures and I had hardly posted anything! Oops. I wish I'd kept better track of that trip in this space. Oh well.

Michael was still perfecting the art of the funny face.

Michael was a little uncertain about the characters. Also? He called them mascots. 

By the end of the trip he'd warmed up a bit, especially toward the princesses, no joke. 

Here's an odd side note... seeing these pictures really makes me miss dressing little kids. They looked so cute and put together all the time. I'd like a four year old again, just for the dressing!

Thankful Thursday - The Fourth

At the risk of sounding incredibly cliche, what an abundance of blessings this last week has made clear! It's been a highlight of so many of the best parts of my life: the weekend with friends I've held dear for over twenty years, time with my family in the "Happiest Place on Earth," crossing paths with friends from different parts of our lives and sharing vacation moments in a way I wouldn't have imagined possible, and lots of loving texts from the pieces of family we aren't sharing this holiday with - I'm even grateful for the technology allowing me to see my adorable nephew in his Thanksgiving finest this morning.

I know, in a logical way, all of the things I have to be grateful for on a daily basis - food, education, electricity, love, all of it and so much more. But there is a difference between understanding what you should be grateful for and deeply feeling gratitude. I think it sometimes makes me seem silly, but there are moments when I pause and just think, "I am so happy right now." Occasionally I even say it out loud, which usually garners me odd glances from my companions. Seriously though, I have had many of those moments this week, this month, even, and I'm even grateful for the ability to stop in a beautiful moment and allow it to wash over me.

We ate some darn good carved turkey sandwiches in a castle for lunch today - I hope, wherever you are and whoever you're with, your meal and company are equally magnificent!

Pro-Tip

Sunday morning I sat in an aisle seat, waiting for my flight to travel from Nevada to Florida. There was a gentleman who was one of the last on the plane to take his seat and reluctantly sat in the middle seat next to me. As he sat down he grumbled something about hoping it wasn't row 13, which, clearly, it was.

After the flight attendant confirmed that it was the 13th row, I said, "Don't worry about it, I'm pretty sure all the rows are going to have the same luck."

The flight attendant cracked up - it was quite gratifying.

Seriously though, if you've ever heard of an airplane having a problem with only the 13th row crashing, let me know. Otherwise I think we can sit in row 13 with confidence.

Dispatch from The Happiest Place on Earth

A brief entry from a busy day. Here is a pro/con comparison for this day of Thanksgiving Vacation:

• Con - children cannot seem to leave bickering habits at home and drive parents to the brink of insanity while they are supposed to be having the time of their lives.
• Pro - things fall into place to meet up with great friends from home and run around after dark sharing a bunch of adventures.

We are having a great time, but I wish there was a suspension of sibling nonsense that magically settled over holidays, vacations, etc. If anyone has some Pixie Dust that makes such a thing possible, please share.

Tables Turned

There have been two instances recently when I've had the experience of being on the other side of food allergies, as in, I have encountered situations where someone has a food allergy and that someone was not my child.

This year Michael has a boy in his class who is allergic to nuts like Harper is. Early on in the school year we received a letter requesting students to sign-up to pack nut-free one day a week to sit at the nut free table with this student. It is exactly the same system we used for Harper all through elementary school and, year after year, I was touched by the efforts made by so many school families to ensure she had friends to eat with. In fact, I think the letter I received is the exact same one that I used to send. Of course Michael is eating with his friend at the nut-free table once a week.

On Friday when I was flying out to Las Vegas, I actually had a stash of Snickers bars that were pilfered from the Halloween haul. We do not keep or eat nuts in the house. But it was Harper's idea that I put all the Snickers in a bag, freeze them, and have them for my trip. Years ago I probably would not have done that, but both the kids are old enough now that I wasn't worried about someone getting in to them - they both understand the potential for danger. I was unlikely to eat all the Snickers bars on the plane ride, but I was looking forward to nibbling them. And I failed to pack anything else to eat - not really thinking through that the flight was 4.5 hours long.

As we were getting ready to depart the crew made an announcement that there was someone on board with a nut allergy, no nuts or nut products would be served, and would we please refrain from opening and consuming any food we'd brought with us that might contain nuts. The friend I was traveling with hadn't eaten and, of course, had packed a peanut butter sandwich. Obviously we didn't eat our peanut products and, even though I had to delay gratification for a bit with the Snickers, it wasn't the end of the world.

In gratitude for all the people who have gone out of their way to help us keep Harper safe over the years, I'm more than happy to return the favor.

Draft Day #3 Summer Reading

I loaded the following photos on June 17, 2009. Harper would have been about four and a half years old. I believe it was the first summer we fully participated in our local library's summer reading program.




Someone was pretty proud of her yard sign!

Vegas, Baby!

Before yesterday I hadn't been on a plane since I was pregnant with Michael. Let that sink in for a moment please... Yes, it had been about nine years. I've not been a huge fan of flying since I was a child, but this trip I was pretty nervous, just because it had been so long.

It did a lot to calm my nerves when, right before he got on the bus yesterday morning, Michael looked at me and said, "Are you sure nothing with go wrong with the plane?" Of course I chirpily replied that all would be well, but my stomach was rolling all day.

All's well that ends well and we arrived in Las Vegas largely without incident. There were a few moments of turbulence - it was a tiny bit nerve-wracking when the pilot called the flight attendants back to their seats - but even that wasn't so bad.

I was fortunate to fly with another of my roommates so I wasn't by myself on the plane. And we ended up sitting in a row with a person who is a senior at the college we attended, hopefully our little Vegas excursion will provide some squad goals for her and her college friends.

And now we're here and I'm looking forward to whatever this day will bring, but I'm not very likely to write about it...

Flashback Friday #3

When I left Wisconsin to go to college in Ohio I was blessed with an incredible group of women who became my friends and roommates. I was fortunate to have many friends at my school and to still be in contact with a number of them today. Years ago I let Matt know that I was definitely going to want to celebrate my 40th birthday. He also knew that, more than just about anything, I would want to do it with the five women who were my housemates our junior and senior year of college. I wasn't counting on it, however, because many of us have children (lots younger than my own) and we're pretty thoroughly scattered throughout the country. A couple in Ohio (but in different cities), a couple in St. Louis, one in Seattle, and one in San Diego. We had a full reunion (all of us present) in Chicago about nine years ago. Since then we've been together twice more, for one or another's weddings, but the bride doesn't typically get a ton of time to hang out with her college roommates when she's getting married.

Being the thoughtful and awesome husband that he is, Matt worked behind the scenes to put together a big surprise for this November. He arranged for all six of us to spend the weekend together in Las Vegas. And that weekend is happening now! We haven't all be in the same place in almost three years and now we get a whole weekend. I am out of my mind with excitement. 

Here's a look back at some of our greatest hits:

At our house Christmas party, December 1998. Please note the awesome paintings on the wall behind us - our very own artwork from the year before. Each of us still has one of the other girls' paintings in our possession today.

Here we are on the steps of the capitol building in Denver, Colorado. We took a road trip to Breckenridge to celebrate graduation back in May of 1999. We met up in St. Louis and drove a rented minivan out west. It was spectacular..

Who can forget Y2K? Here we are at my friend's parents' house in St. Louis, all dolled up to go downtown and ring in 2000.

I cannot wait to live it up with these ladies this weekend, but I can't promise any pictures. You know what they say about Vegas...